Law is toxic
Though intended to save
It will ultimately destroy
Law is toxic
Though intended to save
It will ultimately destroy
[Not what you (or I) expected. From the same series as Sex 202. Loving Terrorsaur]
I walk into the office and pull out the Elf on a Shelf that has been there since Christmas two years ago. I set it on a chair and sit down across from it.
Me: I feel ridiculous talking to a stuffed toy.Continue reading
The Rogue Dialogues (aka “Diarogues“) are a series of stream-of-consciousness narratives I wrote while alone in my room from July 3-6, 2022, unemployed and quarantined with COVID-19. This was my attempt to make peace with the “part” of me that had an unfortunate history of sabotaging my relationships with authority figures.Continue reading
Episode #7 of The Rogue Dialogues: Inner Healing for Leadership
Concluding Carnus, War
The scene is a wide-open grassy field.
Two women enter from opposite sides, running towards each other.
One is older than the hills, but still a picture of perfect health.
The other is younger, having just now reached her full maturity.
Before they can embrace, the younger one trips and falls.
She lies prone, shaking and pounding the ground in her grief.
Episode #6 of The Rogue Dialogues: Inner Healing for Leadership
Continued from Seer, Wisdom
[Warning: contains explicit language]
A big black man in the prime of life enters the stage.
Bulging muscles peer out from under the rags he wears.
He is carrying a wooden cross.
He is royally pissed.
Episode #5 of The Rogue Dialogues: Inner Healing for Leadership
Continued from Adept, Wisdom
A serious-looking, raven-haired young woman with a sable cloak and green eyes enters the room.
Seer: Thena? My lady Thena, art thou here?
Thena: [entering] Rogue, my dear child, how you have grown! Who are you today?
S. I hast followed thy advice and become a Seer. My life is devoted to seeing others as they are, not as I wish them to be. I can even see the invisible kingdom alongside the kingdoms of man.
T. Wonderful! I am so proud of you. But why did you say this was my advice?
S. For sooth, that is the reason I sought thee out, for fear I hath misunderstood thy intent when last we met.
T. What did you think I meant?
S. I was an Adept strong in battle, yet thou shewed me fretful and vulnerable as ever I lost sight of my surroundings, or thee. I took this as a challenge to improve my vision.
T. That challenge was well-taken, dear child. But are you concerned you may have taken it too far?
S. Yea, verily. For I am now so besotten with every little detail, I know not whence to act. I see all sides of a conflict, and the Justice and Pain behind each, so that my heart is torn every which way and darest not choose sides.
T. Gentle Seer, I honor the pain you carry. While it was not my intent to place this great burden upon a you, yet I am so proud you took the narrow path until its bitter end.
S. But what good hath I done? Hast I not wasteth my life, if all I do is see and not act?
T. Seer, you surprise me! Do you truly not see the great power of seeing?
S. Mistress, thou justly shamest me. I took such great pride in my vision that I thought I hath seen it all. Please forgive me.
T. Seer, I see your humility and honor you for it. I see the pure hunger that drove you to discipline your mind and body; and also the vanity and insecurity that both spurred you on and crippled you.
T. I see your childlike curiosity, as well as your selfish desire for superior knowledge. Your longing to help, and your need for control. Your deep compassion — and subtle judging. Know that I see you, with all your glory and all your flaws, and love you all the more for both of them.
Seer, overcome, kneels down and weeps. Thena reaches down and gently strokes her hair.
Seer rises. Thena hugs her fiercely, then holds her at arms length.
S. Mother, what shadow of trouble so darkens thy brow?
T. O, daughter!
Thena collapses. Seer kneels beside her.
S. Mother, what illness hath befallen thee?
T. No illness, child. But darkness. A darkness woven into my bones before the foundation of this world.
S. Is there no cure? Thou has taught me to seek so far, surely somewhere I mayest find thy succor?
T. No… but yes. Even Wisdom has its limits, child. Your instinct was right. To be a Seer is a great and agonizing call. But the one that comes after is much more of both. And that step… I cannot take with you.
S. No! Dearest mother, thou hast always been my sweetest friend. Let me abide with thee still, even if I must die with thee.
T. O my darling Rogue, how tempted I am to spare you the bitter cup that awaits. But such decisions are not for me to make. I am not worthy to choose the time and place of my own death, much less yours.
Thena seems to have aged a century. She lies back on the ground.
T. Come close to me, child. There is but one path left, if you would save my life and fulfill your destiny.
Seer grips Thena’s suddenly frail hand with two of hers. She lowers her ears to Thena’s lips.
Seer screams and jumps to her feet.
S. No! No, please. No, not that! Never!!
Weeping and wailing, Seer runs off into the darkness.
While Wisdom lays dying in the light.
Continued in Diarogue 6/7: Carnus, War
Episode #4 of The Rogue Dialogues: Inner Healing for Leadership
Continued from Acolyte, Wisdom
A teenage boy enters, red-haired with freckles.
Adept: ‘Thena, where are you?
Thena: [entering] Right here. And who are you now, my dear Rogue?
A. Ah think ahm what they call an “Adept.” Which either means skillful or magic user, yeh?Continue reading
Episode #3 of The Rogue Dialogues: Inner Healing for Leadership
Continued from Rogue, Wisdom
A young girl in a white robe enters the garden.
Acolyte: Athena? Athena? ‘Thena, are you there?
Thena: [entering] Rogue, is that you?
Acolyte: Um, sort of? I know I was Rogue when I started looking for you, but now I have become… this.Continue reading
But so is
We need better narratives
Starting with our citizenship
I am in China working for Caltech
Like I did in the early 1990s
[at the Beijing Electron Positron Collider that built the first Internet link there]
I think I am still a student
But it feels like modern times
We are working in some major industrial plant
Or perhaps a city
Maybe even a Muniversity [hypothetical Learning City]
I was sent there to help our professor
Who oversees their sanitation systems
He has done some amazing work
He added, like, a second trash dropoff line
Inside an existing building
Nearly doubling throughput
At virtually no cost
But he hasn’t been communicating
The top brass is worried
It may be time to pull him back
He never wanted this job
But now he seems to be clinging to power
It doesn’t make any sense
So I really have three assignments:
He has been avoiding me for days
Finally I manage to corner him
On his way to the cafeteria
Another person seems to have had the same Idea
A Chinese woman
Probably a local
Her bosses probably have similar concerns
I wonder if she has the same triple assignment
We buttonhole the professor
Pleading with him to let us help him
He’s unfailingly polite
But strangely evasive
I finally realize
He is at war with himself
At one level
He is surprised to discover
He loves this job
The chance to make a concrete difference
The power and authority
Living abroad, free from distractions
At another level
He hates himself for getting sucked in
He is supposed to be a science professor
Not a sanitation executive
He is neglecting his research
And graduate students
Not to mention his family!
Yet he somehow got addicted to this crap job
During what was supposed to be
A short term assignment
Of just a few months
I finally ask him point blank
“Don’t you want to get back to your research?”
We are in the enormous cafeteria now
He is so flustered
He throws scalding hot coffee
All over me
It is probably an accident
But he and I both know
It doesn’t look good
I could easily spin it
As him physically assaulting me
And have him called back
I don’t want to do that
I just want to understand
What the heck is going on
What he truly wants
How I can help
Please pray for me
Our tiny little church
is going through a massive transition
The risks and opportunity
God seems to be opening
for me to speak into leadership
The spiritual warfare is intense
So pray carefully
Pilate wanted us to behold Jesus
Perhaps hoping he could free Jesus
Or free himself
Of the responsibility
Of seeing more
Than he wanted
Than he could handle
Than he was free to believe
Historically, the Body of Christ has relied on three interdependent roles:
• Infants, who receive what they are taught
• Mystics, who seek their own truth
• Paternalists, who create the context for Infants
Draft 2 (previous version)
Making Disciples of Jesus
is about spreading His Kingdom
by manifesting the Fruit of the Spirit
for others to enjoy
via the deliberate practice of submitting every thought, emotion, and reaction
Anyone who wants to become a disciple of Jesus
Our current understanding of discipleship is primarily built around human role models: e.g., Pharisees, Philosophers, Pietists.