Radically Happy

The Safe Space

I am walking onto the shore
Of the lake mirage in Boston

Moonlit
Gentle breeze
Sweet smells of summer grass
Insects buzzing
Jesus walking alongside me

Angels singing afar off
Hymns of praise
Rejoicing over me
Over us

Jesus thank you that I am Your beloved
And You are Mine

Thank you that my Spirit
Is safe within you
That the worst the world can do to me
Is send me straight into Your arms forever

But for now
I still have the privilege
Of receiving the joys of heaven
And bringing them back down to earth

I feel the wet dirt between my toes
The soft grass against my legs
His strong hand holding mine

I feel the warmth of his cloak on my shoulders
A glow in my chest from being known
And loved
And understood

I breathe deeply of the fragrant air
Rich with the dew of heaven

My feet are sure
My legs are strong
My shoulders relaxed
My back flexible

The Splinter

I am back in Elementary School
Maybe 5th grade
Awana

I am answering Bible Questions
Better than anyone
I am proud
I am clever
I am approved
I belong

I look back
On that younger self
With contempt

Half a man
Half a brain
(The left half)

Creating a false self
False acceptance
False religion

Playing the game
Of intellectual knowledge
Of social status
Of hollow tradition

I resent those
Who tricked us
Trapped us
Treated us

Making promises
They could never keep
Building facades
Of whitewashed tombs
Over decaying corpses

The Question

Why, O Lord?
Why did you allow that?
Why did let yourself
Be represented
By such as these?

Why did I have to live
The first half of my life
Surrounded by lies
Masquerading as truth?

Why did they give me stones
When I wanted the bread of life?
Why did they give me snakes
Of knowing good and evil
When all I wanted
Was the fish of acceptance?

His Response

My child
My son
My beloved

I chose them
As I chose you
Before the beginnings of the world

They had
A very specific part to play
In your redemption
And Mine

And they played it
To perfection

The stones they gave you
Which weighed you down
So heavily
Have become
The Foundation
Of my New Tower

If you had never
Felt their weight
You would never
Have known the cost
That must be counted
To build that high

The snakes that bit you
That filled you with the poison
Of condemnation
Guilt
Addiction
Shame
Isolation
Loneliness

They too
Were my gift
For only those
Who die to this world
Can inherit the next

My child
If there is anything to forgive
You must forgive Me

I did all this
So that you
Could know Me
In the fullness
Of My Redemption

No longer an infant
Who passively receives

But an heir
A friend
A help-mate
Who walks beside me
Who talks to me face to face
Who knows my business
And shares my burdens

Who has discovered
The easy yoke
Behind the heavy cross
The castle in the sky
Built with heavy stones
The tree of life
Beyond the serpent’s lies

This
Is my One Purpose
For you
For me
For all creation

Even
Mini-you
Half-man
Left-brain
KnowsMore

Was a gift
Is a gift
Is your teacher
Is Me
As best
You could receive
At that time

Receive him
Receive yourself
Receive all your teachers
Sincere or manipulative
Intellectual or emotional
Wise or foolish

Despite their flaws
Despite their lack
They gave of themselves
With all they had
The good
The bad
The ugly
Even
If they never knew
Which was which

For only
As you rejoice
In all you received
From all of them

Only
As you forgive
The splintered truths
That cut so deep

Even
As you forgive
The tainted food
That twisted your gut
And emptied your bowels

You will receive
Me
My Truth
My Way
My Life

Rejoice
In the ways you were filled
With knowledge of Me
And My Word

Rejoice
In the ways you were emptied
Of pride and deceit

Rejoice
That everything that happened
Has prepared you
For this moment

For being a Redeemer
In My Image
Is learning
How to be fillled
And emptied
To create space
For Me

If you had only received Good
You would never need to be emptied
And you would never have known
Or needed
My Grace
And Salvation
That I purchased
With My Blood
Upon the cross

Now is the time
To turn your heart
To the fathers
Of your soul
In your soul
That made you
And unmade you

Now is the time
To reverse the curse
That the enemy
Meant for ill
And turn it back
Into a blessing
Meant for all

My Response

Father
I thank you
That you did not reveal this
To the wise
And virtuous
And succesful

That you reserved
The greatest revelation
Of your love
And redemption

To the tainted
The broken
The empty
The deceived

That you…
That you counted me worthy
To be one of those
So I can be
One of Yours

In Jesus name I pray
Amen.