Dream: Qhows (Qhuinn+Cows)

Standard

Is this how we become like Jesus?

I am in a park
Perhaps a sports field
Or a sports field inside a park

There is a chain link fence
Probably around a baseball field

My dog Qhuinn is running loose
That… is worrisome
He can be aggressive towards strangers
Especially small children

I think I see him
Around the corner
Also outside the fence

But when I get closer
It is a cow!
A cow that looks like Qhuinn
My English Cocker Spaniel

Qhuinn-bombed!

The cow is the same color as him
Her back is arched
Her ears are floppy
And from my perspective
Her nose looks like a muzzle
And at this distance
I can’t tell her actual size

In fact
As I get closer
I see
There’s more than one such cow
And the last “cow”
Is actually Qhuinn!

He is bent over
In the exact same arched shape
Eating grass
Right alongside them

He saw these cows
These Qhows that look like him
So he went to join them
And started acting like them!—

Interpretation

Qhuinn
Has issues
That might mirror my own

He was under-socialized
When young

He is afraid
Of letting other dogs sniff him
He reacts loudly
When they enter his territory
He snaps at those
He considers a threat

I like to think
I am better than that
But I might be self-deceived
Or just better
And concealing my insecurity
Or repressing my aggression

I sometimes wonder
If God is using
His outward social dysfunction
As a mirror
Of our inward one
And someday
Might heal both together

This Dream
Was oddly hopeful

Qhuinn
Does not like large dogs
But he felt comfortable
With these massive bovines
Because they looked like him

It reminds me of a vision I had
About my (belated) coming of age
Where the master of ceremonies
Was a Jesus
That looked like me

Maybe
Qhuinn was able
To surrender his anger
Because those cows
Looked like him

Maybe
He felt secure
Because he was surrounded
By others
Who were not Other
But shared his identity

Maybe
That is how I need to see Jesus
As the truest version of myself
So I can lose myself in Him
And act like Him
Without losing
What makes me me
How God made me

Maybe
We all do

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