#Devalidation: My Current Favorite Sin


Perhaps my worst and most common trigger
(Amygdala hijack)
Is when someone says something
That implicitly assumes
That what I consider vitally true
Is obviously false

And I feel like I have to
Invalidate their statement
Or else they’ll have
Invalidated me

The deeper problem
Is that I am tying my identity
To a fact or value
That I believe
Rather than to Christ

And because I am reacting
Out of insecurity
I trigger a graceless response
Out of them

Where they get defensive
About their right to speak
And have their own opinions

And their subconscious feeling
That I am trying to invalidate them
At one level
Is correct

Because when I am triggered
My amygdala
Sees the world
In black-and-white
Zero sum
Me or them

The alternative
Is Hospitality

With Incarnation
The other half
Of Vulnerability

Concentrating my Self
In Christ
Where He can protect
The real Me

And leaving
Everything else
On the table

Being emotionally present
Yet not emotionally reactive

That is how
We save the world

That is how
Christ saves me

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