Radically Happy

Driving out the darkness / 
Of self-protection / 
Unforgiveness / 
And condemnation…

I do not / 
Blame them / 
For triggering / 
My fears // I accept / 
The blame / 
For triggering theirs…

Jesus is flying / 
Over my altar-cum-platform / 
He ruined / 
When He launched from it…

The altar I had sacrificed / 
To build a platform for Jesus / 
In the presence of my adversaries / 
Collapses under His weight…

Brick by painful brick / I disassemble / What took me / So long to build…

My tribesmen / 
See me falling down in worship / 
Between my “rogue” altar and Jesus / 
And jump to conclusions…

They ignore / Any evidence / That contradicts / Their self-righteous rage // I start to react / With rage of my own / Against their hypocrisy…

They arm for battle / Work themselves up into a frenzy / And surround me // Spewing arguments / Threats / Falsehoods / Ultimatums…

God smiles / 
Because He knows / 
What I am feeling / 
What I want // Even / 
Especially / 
When I lack the words / 
Or even the concepts / 
To ask…

Then this world / Is filled / With the knowledge / Of the glory / Of God // As the waters cover the sea…

The stars become / 
(Or perhaps always were) / 
Angels…

“This is not a command / 
Or even a request / 
It is an invitation…”

Then a miracle occurs. // I see God cry. // Holding me close / With great wracking sobs…

“You are always so serious / 
So earnest / 
That if I give you a task / 
Or even a gift / 
You will turn it / 
Into an obligation”

I am / 
At last / 
In the right place / 
At the right time / 
As the right *me* // Which is rather remarkable / 
If still disorienting…

What went wrong? / 
What did *I* do wrong? / 
How will we know / 
Where to worship / 
And seek Your face?