Radically Happy

Your most urgent and important problem is that you don’t “own” what you truly want — especially the price you must pay to get it.

Q: What skills or lessons have you learned recently?

A: How to befriend my anger

Ares: Greetings, little man.

Manager: Not so little anymore! Good to see you, Ares.

[Ares quirks an eyebrow. Manager laughs.]

M. I know. In previous incarnations, I wasn’t particularly fond of you. But I think I’ve worked through that — at least in part.

A. And is that what brings you here today?

M. [grimacing]. Yeah, I’ve been thinking through what you said about “ultimate sacrifice”, and how I can’t fully fight an enemy while fighting myself.

A. And?

M. Well, I’m getting ready for a big battle. It might even be The Big Battle. And I realize I might be ashamed of,… ah, well… you.

[Ares laughs]

A. Was that so hard to say, little man?

M. Well, you are kind of known for your temper! How am I to predict what will set you off?

A. The usual way. By becoming my friend. Learning to trust me.

The usual way. By becoming my friend. Learning to trust me.

Ares, God of War

M. But that’s the problem! I don’t think I can trust you.

[Ares says nothing. Does not even react. Just keeps looking at Manager. Calmly. Waiting].

M. [sighing] Okay, fine. That’s my limitation. Not yours. Can I buy you a drink?

[Ares grins and snaps his fingers. Dio shows up with two chairs and a tables. He pulls a bottle of brandy out of thin air, hands them each a glass, then leaves the bottle and disappears. The two sit down and start sipping.]

M. So, let me see if I understand. You have a valid purpose, and you are 100% aligned with that purpose. To the extent I understand that, I can trust you to fulfill it.

A. Very good! I can see you have learned something on your many travels.

M. [hotly] Well I’m not sure I’ve learned this! Intellectually, I buy the argument that a man should take joy in his work. But it just seems wrong to enjoy inflicting pain on others, even if they deserve it.

[Ares just smiles and sips his brandy]

M. Wait. When I got angry there. Was that you?

[Ares sets down his glass and grins.]

A. What do you think, little man? What is the real reason you get angry?

M. Because… there is something important to me… that requires a cross in order to get… so I’d rather make someone else bear it.

[Ares nods encouragingly.]

M. [exploding] But that doesn’t make sense! Isn’t the whole reason we use violence to make others suffer so we don’t have to?

[Ares smiles broadly, refills his glasses, and leans back in his chair to sip it.]

M. Wait… is that the secret? What I’m really afraid of — and avoiding — is not the pain I am causing them. But having to share that pain — magnified — due to the Sword of Empathy.

[Ares eyes twinkle]

M. Then… the real danger is not anger. Or even the pleasure I take in setting things right. It is the fear that I will follow my role models who had to dissociate from others — and themselves — in order to make hard decisions.

A. Exactly. They needed me, but were ashamed of me. So they only brought me out when the pressure was too great to bear.

M. And then abdicated control to you. Rather than… befriending you. Leading you. Guiding you. Disciplining, even.

A. Precisely. I am not actually the god of anger, am I?

M. No… you are the god of conquest. Which requires internalizing enormous pain, on multiple levels. Which most people will only dare do when angry… or drunk.

A. [grimly] Actually, people drink like that to try to get rid of the pain they’ve internalized.

M. So how do I gain the courage to conquer without becoming addicted to dissociating anger?

A. The easy answer is this [gesturing around him]. Make friends with the part of you that is angry, to find out their Why.

M. And the hard answer?

[Ares gestures with his chin. A few yards away is an old rugged cross. Manager sighs, drains his glass, sets it down and stands up.]

M. I guess it is that time of day.

[Ares rises. They embrace.]

M. So… this is goodbye?

[Ares’ eyes twinkle with suppressed mischief.]

A. Not today, little man [he snaps his fingers]. This time…

[Manager follows Ares gaze. His jaw drops open. A second cross has appeared.]

A. I am coming with you!

[Finit]