TGR-S5E5: Better Next Time


As followers of Jesus, we invite you to learn along with us every Tuesday at 1 PM on The Great Reset as we practice loving more like Jesus.

Question: What should we focus on when something hurtful has happened?

Perspective: Answering the question, “What do each of us need so all of us can handle it better next time?”

After The Incident in S5E1, I spent a lot of time focusing on my response to Steve, and reassuring myself we were on track to eventually work things out. However, I must confess I did not spend much time considering other people’s responses, or what it would take to reassure them. I naively assumed they saw the same data I did, and would therefore interpret it the same way.

I appreciate David J. raising the issue last week, and for agreeing to host the discussion about it. God alone knows how it will actually play out, though, so I wanted to document the lessons I’ve learned so far:

  1. Whenever something unusual happens, recognize that it may affect others more deeply than it affects me
  2. When others express concern, acknowledge the validity of their fears rather than trying to explain them away (See also: marriage)
  3. After an incident, create a safe space for people to express difficult feelings and ask hard questions. Even if not everyone can be there, so we aren’t actually able to resolve anything.
  4. As part of our regular practice, include time for people to share concerns and feedback, and raise issues they feel should be addressed
  5. If I don’t feel competent to address such issues, empower those who are willing to bear that risk


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