This post is the apparent end of my long-running DiaBlogue with Alan. It is a follow-up to my own initial reaction to our decision to call things off, as well as Alan’s own reaction and closing thoughts, and may well be our final word on this topic.
[I accidentally deleted the final version of this post, so I’m simply reposting an earlier, incomplete version with a little filler. C’est la vie.]
There’s many things I could say to you at this time, but after much wrestling and prayer I’ve decided to leave you with a single question:
What will you do with your anger?
You’ll no doubt remember that this is [similar to] the only question you formally declined to answer [deferred answering] during our DiaBlogue. While I don’t really expect an answer now, I believe it is the most important question you will ultimately need to answer going forward.
The reason is that I believe you are facing a choice: whether to continue feeding your anger against Christianity by seeking new things about it to hate, or whether to release your anger in order to devote your life to the pursuit of truth. Because, frankly, you can’t do both.
I’m sure you’ll be quick to point out that your anger against Christianity is because of your love of truth (and hatred of lies). And yes, that is partly true — but only in part. Certainly there is much about Christianity worth hating, that ought to be hated — and I’ve never been shy about admitting that.
But what about the rest? Why do you hate all of Christianity, to the point of devoting your life to its destruction?
I don’t know the answer to that question, though I have my suspicions. I don’t know if you are even aware of how much your thinking (like mine) is influenced by your own anger.
I do know, however, that a live driven by anger is a life that leads to death. Like Anakin Skywalker, we end up destroying the very thing we became angry to protect. And whether or not there is a literal hell awaiting us after death, there is such a thing as hell on earth. And it awaits those who sow anger and hatred, and reap bitterness and regret.
I hope you never get there. I hope you take this opportunity to rededicate your life to the constructive pursuit of truth, even your own atheistic understanding of what “truth” is. You may not succeed, but it would be a noble pursuit.
But if you do choose to follow the road of anger, and you someday find yourself at the gates of hell, I pray that you will have the courage (and humility) to reach out for forgiveness.
Love always, your friend