Radically Happy

I have become / 
A hero of mist / 
Who sees like Jesus / 
Which makes me look like Jesus…

It was the only thing / 
That gave me purpose / 
And justified / 
(At least to myself) / 
All the horrible things I did…

Underneath / I am soft squishy clay / I have no internal rigor / To give me leverage…

Jesus. I agree. / Kevin. With which part? / Jesus. That there is nothing wrong with books and service… but they aren’t right for you. You were made to fight, and woo, and protect. / Kevin. I was made to be an accessory! / Jesus. Yes. / Kevin. What?!

He reaches out His hand / 
Asking for the map / 
I had recovered / 
Stolen? / 
From His wounded body…

I see / The store I destroyed / At the start of my rampage // And the store-owner / I had been avoiding…

I realize / 
This is what / 
I have been searching for / 
All along…

It is painful / 
And exhausting / 
But all I have to work with / 
Is my hate…

He sees me / He does not condemn me / But… / I refuse to let Him protect me…

I am moving / Slowly / Steadily / Implacably / Devastatingly // Like a bull / Through a China shop / Literally…

Those whom I trusted / Strove for / Fought for / Cared for / Suffered for // Saved their own skins…

Wolves prowl nearby / 
While my she-bear-wife / 
Stares at me suspiciously…

Instead / 
My headfirst hawk-dive / 
Knocked me out / 
And knocked off my glasses…

Then I realize / We are not here to hunt / Or to fight / Or even to rescue // We are here to witness / By bringing Jesus / Through our vulnerability…

I look for Jesus. // I see Him / In the empty / Bodiless / Head of the scarecrow…

The birds / Are wise / But speechless // The sheep / Are loving / But scared // The children / Are happy / But unaware…

When they are done / 
All that is left / 
Are Christ’s massive whale-bones / 
Which become a playground / 
For my liberated child-selves…

Nothing / 
Except watching me / 
To see what I would do / 
When I have no Hope…