Radically Happy

Continued from Hello, Stranger

Holding Stranger’s tiny hand, I am leaving the Studio when a police car pulls up. A square-jawed policeman with black hair gets out and walks over to me. He takes out his notebook.

Friday’s Coming

Friday: Excuse me, sir. My name is Joe Friday from the Enforcement Division. I’m sorry to bother you, but I need you to answer a few questions for me.

I tense up, but Stranger seems excited to meet someone new.

Earnest: Ah, of course, officer. How can I help?

F. To start with, who is this child, and why were you taking him into that establishment?

E. [defensively] Now look here…

Stranger lays a calming hand on my elbow.

Stranger: It’s okay, sir. He didn’t take me in there. He’s part of my family, and he isn’t the one who put me there. He helped me escape.

Friday relaxes slightly, but is still suspicious.

F. And the mask?

Stranger blushes.

S. It was actually mine. But right now, he needs it more than I do.

F. I see. [turns to me] Sir, do you have any identification that will confirm this story?

I check my pockets, but can’t find anything.

E. Er, I seem to have lost my identity.

Friday shakes his head sadly.

F. I’m sorry to hear that. I’m afraid I need to ask you to come downtown until we can sort this out.

E. [spluttering] What? Am I under arrest?

Stranger gives me a quick side hug.

S. [whispers to me] Don’t worry. He’s part of the family too. He needs this. Everything will be okay.

E. Don’t I at least get one phone call?

F. Of course.

Enter the Defender

I am in an interrogation room with Friday. Stranger is outside eating cookies with a nice lady.

E. Look, Sergeant. I know you are just doing your job. But this is purely a private family matter.

F. So are you saying you are completely innocent of any wrongs done to this child?

E. Well, when you put it that way…

F. And do you have any experience helping children who’ve been through circumstances like that?

E. Ah, it depends on what you mean by experience…

F. And how do you intend to help this child find its identity when you don’t even know your own?

E. Err…

Just then the door swishes open and Dialogue enters, in her professional guise as Defender. She extends her hand.

Defender: [warmly] Sergeant, it is an honor to meet you. I’m a huge fan!

F. Ma’am?

D. [winks] Just the facts, am I right?

F. [flustered] Ah, yes.

Defender sits down and opens her briefcase.

D. Now, we both know you don’t have any legal basis to hold my client, especially since all his sins were paid for by the cross [pulls out a thick dossier with the word “FORGIVEN” stamped on it in big red letters] but at the same time, you have legitimate concerns about the safety of the child. Is that correct?

F. [pauses briefly to digest all that] Yes [with some surprise]

E. Now, wait a minute…

Defender turns to me with a sweet smile, that somehow manages to feel like she’s saying “Shut up, idiot.” So I do.

D. [smoothly] So, I have taken the liberty of arranging a foster family to act as the child’s guardian until he, or his father figure, comes of age. [pulls another sheaf of papers from her briefcase and hands them to Friday]

I start to protest, but Defender gives me another one of her lethal smiles, so I keep my mouth shut.

Friday frowns as he leafs through the file.

F. Resilience and Dialogue — is that what you think the kid needs?

Defender turns her smile on him.

D. Don’t forget Affection and Friendship. And isn’t that what we all need? [cocks her head] In fact, why don’t you come check it out for yourself? My husband is already grilling dinner. I’ll have him throw on a few more burgers, and we can sort this out over a meal.

My first instinct is that this is a horrible idea, which Friday will immediately reject as unprofessional. After all, he is the embodiment of my own legalistic need for perfection.

But when I glance over at him, I receive several shocks in quick succession.

1. Rather than being offended, he seems to have tears in his eyes.
2. As his face softens, I start to see myself in him.
3. When he finally speaks, it is in a totally different voice. One I am intimately familiar with.

F. Yes. I… I would like that.

To be continued in “Hello, Family”