Radically Happy

Continued from Sex 404: What The Deuce?

Polar Vortex

I plunge into the freezing depths

But instead of slowing
I speed up

Darker and darker
Faster and faster
Colder and colder

Numb beyond pain
Beyond breath

But just when I think
I cannot think anymore
I pass an inflection point

It becomes lighter
Slower
Warmer

I see a point before me
It grows
Into a mirror
Surrounded by light

As I get closer
I see myself
Reaching towards me
I reach towards him
A split second later

His left hand grabs my right
And pulls me to the surface

Surface Tension

I gaze into my double
My not-quite mirror image

He is… softer
Ingenuous
Open
Vulnerable

Not stupid
But simple
In a good way

Like he has nothing to hide
And nothing to fear

Oh my god.
Am I the evil twin?

“Oh my god.
Am I the evil twin?”

The Earnest Redeemer

He chuckles
Reading my thoughts
Or perhaps just my face
Empath that he is

Reflection

R: Fear not, brother.
You are not evil
For I am not good
Merely innocent
And even for that, I have you to thank!

The Earnest Redeemer: Huh?

R. You are the outer facade, the hard persona that bore the brunt of the world’s expectations in order to allow your inner life to… well, perhaps not thrive, but still survive.

I look around. We are in a small oasis surrounded by an arctic wasteland.
The inverse of the icy pond in the forest glade I left.

E. I… I am sorry, brother.

He claps me joyfully on the shoulder.

R. Why? We are happy here, except for sorrow over the sacrifice you bear on our behalf.

E. We? Who? How?

He grins, and whistles.
A panoply of animals answer with a gleeful cacophony, rushing toward him.
Seals, walruses, wolves, terns, narwhals.
He affectionately greets each one by name, obviously deeply enjoying their companionship.

E. Err… no penguins?

He laughs.

R. Ha! Wrong pole. [grinning]

E. Wait. If this is the North Pole, in a fictional universe where everyone is happy, then does that mean…

His grin turns to into a beaming smile.

R. Come meet my landlord.

Santa’s Workshop

My mind breaks.
I can’t tell if this is more like Elf, Rise of the Guardians, or Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

R. Don’t overthink it. It is more a state of mind than anything else.

E. Um, overthinking is kind of my thing. Which reminds me, Other Me: who are YOU exactly?

He smiles mysteriously.

R. I have many names, and none. Call me “Reflection” for now.

E. Okay, Reflection. So why am I here? And where are we going?

R. For the usual reason. To see the Big Guy and receive a Gift.

E. Am I supposed to sit on his lap and tell him what I want?

R. [laughing] Sadly, you are too old for that.

E. Don’t you mean too big?

R. [sympathetically] No, his lap can contain multitudes. But you are too old — no longer childlike enough — to know what you truly want. I’m afraid you’ll just have to trust him.

E. Should I trust him?

R. [amused] Do you trust me to tell you?

I look at him.
In fact, I look through him.
He is so innocent, so guileless
Every emotion and motive written plainly on his face.
No energy wasted hiding from the world.
Or himself.

No wonder he is happy.
No wonder he is here.

E. Yes, I trust you.

R. [smiling]. Then know that I trust him the way you trust me.

The Big Guy

He seems ridiculously large
Yet not alien
Or unapproachable

Like a new uncle
When I was five
Big
Unfamiliar
Yet family

I climb into his lap

Big Guy: Hello, little one.
Do you know what you want for Christmas?

I shake my head mutely.

He laughs
It really is like a bowl full of jelly

He lays a finger by the side of his nose

B. Don’t worry. I do!

He gestures to a small cadre of elves standing nearby.
They wheel over a large box.
Bigger than me.

A pony?

I leap from his lap
Run to the box
Reflection and I tear off the gift wrap
Pry open the cubical container

To reveal a massive globe.

But somehow not a map.
Reality itself.

I stare at the North Pole
See the animals we had met, now wandering off

Spin it around to the — South Pole? —
where Mars and Venus are blazing a trail of flowers.

E. It is wondrous!

R. [shyly] But you haven’t seen the best part!

He spins it rapidly, then stops it apparently at random.
He steps back and points proudly.

I bend closer.

Improbably
I see an East Pole
In a land of minarets and flying carpets

I am confused.

Reflection laughs.
Claps me on the shoulder.

R. Come on, let’s go! He is waiting.

E. He? Who?

R. The one who will grant you your wish. The Genie-Us!

E. Huh? But…

Reflection doesn’t hesitate.

He grabs my hand.
And we leap…

To be continued…