Emotional Learnings, Artificial Life, and the Curse/Blessing of Homeostasis
[While back in my old college town for BioIT Boston]
I am visiting my son’s high school.
It is both like and unlike the one he attends in the waking world.
Continue reading[Hat tip to The Giver]
Like Robin Hood, I am dressed in forest green.
I stand at the edge of the wilderness I have called home for too many years.
In the distance, I see the palace I once called home.
Where my fair maiden awaits.
It is a land flowing with milk and honey.
Close enough to smell.
Impossible to reach.
There is only a narrow stream between it and me.
With a solid bridge I myself built.
But guarding it…
BlackHeart: Halt, who goes there?
Robin: It is I, Robin, Earl of Locksley, rightful lord of yonder castle.
B. That’s as may be. But I am the guardian of this boundary, and I say you shall not pass.
R. But am I not the lord who first put you there? I command you to leave your post!
B. Not at all. For I was set in this post by the Lord of All. And I will not relinquish my duty.
R. But HE was the one who made ruler of this land. Surely it cannot be His will for you to obstruct me.
B. Seek not to sway me with fine words or clever reasoning. I was chosen to this duty for my loyalty, not my wisdom. I have but one command, and I will follow it to the death. And even beyond.
Well I knew this to be true.
I had oft assaulted the knight with arrows from a distance.
On occasion, a lucky strike in his visor would lay him low.
If I were fast enough, I might even make it across the bridge.
But his vow of obedience was stronger than death.
It would revive him.
He would pluck the arrow out of his brain (not his most vital organ).
And either he would chase me down himself,
Or summon his brothers to lay me low.
Oddly, they never sought to kill me.
Or, if I’m being honest, injure me more than might be needful to restrain me
And cast me back into the outer darkness.
After my most successful — yet equally fruitless — such venture,
I had sought out the Wild Hermit of the woods.
He it was who had suggested I actually talk with my foe
Rather than merely assault him.
I had been skeptical.
I had not thought the brute capable of fine speech.
Clearly I was wrong.
The Hermit was right about this.
God send he was right about the other.
R. Very well, fair knight.
I concede your claim to this border.
What must I do to cross?
B. You must bring an offering.
R. But that is what I have been trying to do!
My lady love hath lain forlorn these many years.
Thinking I hast forgotten or abandoned her.
The cry of my heart is to Give her a Gift
That will win back her heart
And restore the years the locusts have eaten.
I take a step closer to my adversary.
R. Yet ever I get close, thou thwartest me.
Rip the gift from my hands.
Punish me for my impudence.
Send me back empty-handed.
Why must you torment me so?
B. Because it is my job.
R. Damn you, man. I am trying to bring the offering you demanded.
B. No, you are not.
You are trying to bring the offering she desires.
They are not the same.
Quite the opposite.
I pause.
I take a Moment.
I breathe deeply.
And reflect.
His answer was ambiguous.
He said “an offering.”
I…
I was so preoccupied with regaining my lands.
I assumed that he wanted what I wanted.
And was just being stubborn and stupid.
Rather than the other way around.
R. [sighing] I am sorry, great knight.
I have greatly misjudged you.
Pray forgive me.
Tell me what is the offering you require.
At this, the knight removes his helmet.
I am shocked to see his face.
It is my own.
B. Brother!
I am astonished to see great tears of joy
Welling from one I thought a heartless machine
He runs up and gathers me into an enormous bear hug
B. Is it true? Has the curse been broken?
Are you ready to make the sacrifice?
R. I… I don’t understand.
B. Then… you do not remember? Then why did you ask my forgiveness?
A pain seizes my heart
I fall to the ground.
Two men stand in a castle.
Alike as peas in a pod.
Save one is carefree and wild
The other serious and glowering.
They stand before a young maiden.
B. The time has come for you to choose.
R. We will of course abide by your decision.
Maiden: Then I choose… BraveHeart!
At this, the somber man breaks into a foolish grin.
A flicker of annoyance passes over the wild man, but he quickly conceals it.
R. Fairly won, my brother!
You have gained both a kingdom and queen this day.
Please, come drink with me one last time.
Before I depart to seek my fortune elsewhere.
They bow before the lady.
She blows a kiss to BraveHeart.
He catches it gleefully.
Neither sees the bitter jealousy in Robin’s eyes.
Nor the dagger he clutches behind his back.
R. No!
B. Yes, my brother.
It is sad, but it is true.
You slew me.
My vow to love and defend the princess brought me back to life.
But cursed me to stand here as sentinel.
Clad in black armor.
Until one brought an offering to free me.
R. And the offering required…
B. Is that you take my place.
You need not wear my armor.
Or stand where I stand.
You are free to range the forests
And be whom you were meant to be.
BraveHeart places a hand on Robbing’s
shoulder.
B. But you must swear an oath.
Acknowledge me as your Lord.
Surrender the princess to me.
Devote yourself to defending me and mine.
Rather than covet them for yourself.
To be honest, I do not think he will.
Or frankly, whether I would believe him.
But to my surprise, he crumples to the ground.
First in tears.
Then in laughter.
R. Oh, brother. What a fool I have been!
B. How’s that?
R. All this time, I thought I was you.
Or that I had to be you.
I never allowed myself the freedom to enjoy the wild woods
To seek out danger and opportunity.
I thought I had to reclaim what I had lost.
What I deserved.
He grins, and claps me on the shoulder.
R. Go to her. I will guard the boundaries of this land. Not from fear or duty. But because it is my joy.
With his help, I strip off my armor.
We embrace.
I turn to run to the castle.
Then I realize something.
R. What is it?
B. You were right.
My lady feels abandoned.
R. But that is not your fault!
B. Yet it is ours. And she knows not the difference between us.
R. So you are saying…
B. I cannot come to her without an offering.
And I… I think I need your help.
To be continued?
“One day the people of Jericho said, “Elisha, you can see that our city is in a good spot. But the water from our spring is so bad that it even keeps our crops from growing.”
2 Kings 2:19-22 CEV
He replied, “Put some salt in a new bowl and bring it to me.” They brought him the bowl of salt, and he carried it to the spring.
He threw the salt into the water and said, “The Lord has made this water pure again. From now on you’ll be able to grow crops, and no one will starve.”
The water has been fine ever since, just as Elisha said.”
It is evening
It is morning
It is a new day
Early in the morning
Olasom walks to the bank of the river
He scoops up the clay by it’s edge
And carries it back to his cave
It can feel like eating raw kale
When I need to forgive betrayal
It sticks in my craw
To bypass the law
And grace those who want me to fail
Warning: coarse language
Continue readingA three-volume fantasy, wherein I confront the brokenness of our gods. And myself.
The first episode (“The Temple”) as written as a standalone piece in 2006. I revisited it in 2020 during a time of intense spiritual warfare, which only started to abate in February of 2023. As usual, I wrote stream-of-consciousness with no clue how each individual story would end. Or even whether I was the hero or the villain!
As far as I can tell, this particular story is over. But The Great Redemption is just beginning…
Continue readingOur school has been taken over.
We are going to take it back.
To stop getting stuck on the fence
We must learn how to best offense
I share in Christ’s living
When I am forgiving
Instead of cowering in defense
Today I will take the offensive
Instead of taking offense
If it walks like a duck…
I think we are making a children’s TV show.
These kids are in love with an actual duck.
Who doesn’t do much.
Like Phineas & Ferb with Perry.
One of the larger kids dresses up in a giant, non-realistic duck costume.
They go on various misadventures.
This intersects somehow with Amazon Web Services (AWS).
Continue readingLord, help me to realize
The essence of evil is lies
The pain that we feel
Though it seems real
Is actually grace is disguise!
Question: How do I demonstrate grace metabolizing pain into trust?
#Laughter
Concluding Mrs. Jesus, #6/7: Wholly Sad, Her Day
I awake… as if from a dream.
I am still myself.
Still married to Jesus.
But my world… my family… is gone.
Did they ever even exist?
[A clearer but harder path forward]
In Loving Memory of Lonnie Frisbee
When I want revival to flower
My instinct is to come with power
Reveal hidden truth
To lonely lost youth
So on them God’s blessings I shower
Lord, carry me through the silence.
When facing the demons within
We start to lose faith that You win
The pain in our heart
Wants to tear us apart
And it’s easier to hide it with sin
Today I will listen for heaven’s melody
When my narrative feels all askew
My heart cries out for a rescue
But what I need more
Is my film to rescore
As Jesus’ song transforms my view
The reason I feel insignificant
Is hard problems feel like a sign I can’t
Do what I must
To win back the trust
Of those of whose hearts I’m a supplicant
What I learned about restoring relationships — and finding myself — from watching Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha
Continue readingThe Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the one and only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.
John 1:14
Deveiling is in the details
That redemptive glory entails
We must confront sin
To learn how to win
As Jesus did, scorning the nails
Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.
Matthew 7:14 (KJV)
How much does my sin weigh
I ask you Lord today
What gravity is pulling me
So that I fall astray
It’s easy to love unaware
Pretending the darkness ain’t there
To trust what we feel
Convinced that it’s real
Til circumstance lays it bare
To live a life that’s free of fright
We must believe God sees us right
To know that we’re seen
And yet counted clean
Is what helps us sleep through the night!
Radically Happy 
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