I had two contradictory encounters at yesterday’s PAWS for Men Encountering Jesus.

Painfully Happy

During Immanuel Encounter,
I saw Jesus on a cliff overlooking the sea.

His arms were outstretched.
He had a huge grin.
He said, “Come fly with me!”

He had a huge grin on His face.
I heard the words “So Happy” over and over.

And I started sobbing great gut-wrenching sobs.

[on reflection: perhaps “un-wrenching”, like resetting a dislocated shoulder]

Joyfully Broken

The second was when Paul M. prayed for me.

I was describing unforgiveness as a barrier.
When you sin against me, you reveal that you and the world are broken.

Unforgiveness is my refusal to internalize that brokenness.

I saw Jesus sucking out my brokenness.
Leaving wholeness in its place.
Except where my brokenness was holding to that barrier.

Forgiveness is realizing I need to release that barrier.
So Jesus can suck out all my brokenness.
And yours through me.

#EmbraceTheSuck

I saw Him absorbing all that sin and shame on the cross.
And I just started laughing and laughing…