Radically Happy

All I know / 
Is there is a pattern in my brain / 
That is restlessly searching / 
For a match…

I cannot bear it / 
My human eyes / 
Were not meant for such glory…

The black bile / 
Poisoning my brain / 
Is the dark thoughts / 
I thought were my own…

I can’t find my place / 
I am still too human / 
My body too awkward / 
My brain too untrustworthy / 
To join the avian choir…

Slowly / Painfully / Embarrassingly // I begin to waltz / In a pale imitation / Of the dancing hawks…

My hunger / Is what undid me… // My hunger / Is what saves me…

He is no longer in hawk form / He stretches out / His human arms / Towards my canine nose // I snarl…

In that glance / I can see all the pain / Failure / Frustration / Betrayal / Denial / Trauma // That was washed away / By the blood of Jesus…

He is holding court / 
Over smaller hawks / 
Wearing orange safety vests / 
Teaching them profound truths / 
That my human mind / 
Cannot grasp…

I had no choice but to follow my heart / 
Because my eyes could not see Him

Each of these influences can trap us into Believing All You Think—what I’ll call the BAYT. However, through self-differentiation, we can break free from these traps and live with clarity and purpose.

Scarecrow: Is that what people with brains do? / Me: What? / Scarecrow: Ask about ideas rather than what they truly want?

Better / 
To be a fool for Jesus / 
Than wise in my own eyes…

His feet / 
Are wherever I lay down my life / 
My pride / 
My security / 
My comfort / 
For those I love…

But when I get there / 
I find the vest / 
But no body / 
No blood…

The silence stretches out painfully / I don’t know what we are hunting / Or if it might be hunting us…

Worse / 
I don’t even know what I am hunting / 
Though it is usually myself…

I’m really a miser / 
Who pretends I’m providing a service / 
But secretly just amasses wealth / 
And ignores those who truly need my help…

A thousand times magnified / 
I see the war / 
Of atoms and molecules / 
Becoming a dance / 
Of death…