Radically Happy

**Judge:** I need to confess… I both envied and hated you. You seem so wild and reckless. And yet free of the burden of other people’s sins, and of holding society together. // **Frank:** *[blurting]* You made me ashamed of myself. I only knew how to hurt, and kill. I…

No longer a recluse / 
A monster / 
Or a worm…

In my zeal / 
I had forgotten / 
That even corrupt institutions / 
Help bind us together…

My hulking bull-form / 
Tears through the religious stronghold / 
At the command of Jesus / 
Like it was a theatrical flat…

Pulverized my bones / 
Making me a being / 
Of pure muscle /
And digestion…

Cleansing me / 
Unmooring me / 
Until I float over the world…

I am as wet / 
Blood-soaked / 
Disoriented / And loved as a newborn baby

Or maybe I just shrink / Until I lose myself in Him

I died / And was resurrected / As a hulking hero…

My stomach is knotted / 
With an unholy tangle / 
Of fear, anger, shame and trauma…

Better to hoard the scraps / 
Of my self-esteem / 
Than to lose everything / 
For no gain…

As they leave their celestial detachment / 
And shed their glory / 
To descend to earth…

But that very honor / 
Makes me pull away in shame / 
As the LORD draws near / 
To our distorted family…

Our army / 
And the enemy army / 
He had unconsciously controlled / 
Stare at my monstrous form / 
In horror…

My mind breaks / 
As I stare at our baby from the future / 
Hidden in the armor of my enemy…

I hear / 
A baby crying / 
A broken lullaby…