Write retrospectively from eternity to equate “baptism of fire” with his anguish in prison, mirroring Jesus’s in Gethsemane, as a confession and a plea.
ChatGPT Prompt (condensed)
I. What I Thought I Was Prepared For
I knew how to stand alone.
The wilderness trains you for that
(Exodus 3:1–6; 1 Kings 19:4–8).
Silence. Hunger. Heat. Clarity.
A man learns who God is out there.
I knew how to call Israel back (Isaiah 40:3).
I knew how to speak of judgment without fear (Malachi 4:1).
I knew how to wait for God to act decisively.
I did not know how to wait
when God did not act at all
(Psalm 22:1).
II. What I Proclaimed Beyond My Reach
I said it plainly:
“I baptize you with water for repentance,
Matthew 3:11
but one who is more powerful than I is coming.”
Water made sense.
Repentance made sense.
Preparation made sense
(Isaiah 1:16–17).
Fire did not.
I named it because it was given to me to name it (Jeremiah 1:9),
not because I had entered it.
III. Prison: Where God Went Quiet
Then came the cell
(Matthew 14:3).
No wilderness.
No crowds.
No voice crying out
(Matthew 3:3).
Only stone, iron, and time
(Psalm 105:18).
I waited for God to vindicate His messenger
(Isaiah 61:1).
I waited for the One I announced
to do something.
Nothing happened.
This is where the fire began—
not as pain,
but as absence
(Lamentations 3:1–8).
IV. The Question That Rose From Silence
My question was not curiosity.
It was not confusion about miracles.
It was the cry of a prophet
left behind by the God he served
(Habakkuk 1:2).
“Are you the one who is to come,
or are we to wait for another?”
(Matthew 11:3)
This was not doubt born of weakness.
It was faith pressed beyond explanation
(Job 23:8–9).
If you are the One—
why am I still here?
V. Fire as Abandonment, Not Correction
Nothing in me was rebuked.
Nothing was clarified
(Ecclesiastes 8:16–17).
The fire did not answer my question.
It consumed my need for an answer
(Job 40:4–5).
I was not shown that God was kinder than I imagined.
I was shown that God could be
silent and faithful at once
(Isaiah 45:15).
VI. What I Only Understood After Death
Only from the other side of eternity did I see it
(Wisdom 3:1–4).
I saw you later—
alone, praying, unheard
(Matthew 26:36–39).
“Abba, Father… remove this cup from me.”
(Mark 14:36)
You were not confused.
You were not wavering.
You were abandoned
without being forsaken
(Psalm 22:1–2).
Then I understood my prison.
VII. Fire Makes the Prophet Christological
I thought my calling was to point to you
(John 1:29–30).
I did not know it was to resemble you
(Philippians 2:6–8).
I thought my calling was to point to you.
I did not know it was to resemble you.
I lost God before I lost my life.
You lost God before you lost yours
(Matthew 27:46).
This is how the Kingdom advances—
not through certainty,
but through trust that survives silence
(Hebrews 11:1).
VIII. My Plea
If you are waiting and nothing comes—
do not assume you are wrong
(Psalm 13).
If heaven is quiet—
do not fill the silence too quickly
(1 Kings 19:11–13).
The fire is not punishment.
It is participation
(Romans 8:17).
You are being drawn
into the very shape of Christ
(Galatians 2:20).
IX. Final Word
I baptized with water because water prepares
(Acts 19:4).
But fire—
fire is what happens
when God no longer explains Himself
and remains worthy of trust anyway
(Isaiah 55:8–9).
That was my baptism of fire.
And if you are there now,
abandoned but still faithful—
you are closer to the Kingdom
than you know
(Luke 23:46).
Appendix: On Water and Fire
In the appendix write as St John of the Cross explaining why water baptism into a communal understanding of God is essential, but not final.
ChatGPT Prompt
A. Preamble: Who Speaks Here
I am St John of the Cross,
a son of the Church,
a priest formed by her sacraments,
a man who never sought a path beyond Christ,
and never found Christ apart from the Church.
What I write here is not correction of the Church,
but clarification born of fidelity.
I learned obedience first in water
before I was taught surrender in fire.
B. Why Water Baptism Is Necessary
Water baptism is not a symbol among symbols.
It is initiation into a shared understanding of God.
Through it, the soul receives:
- A name for God
- A story of salvation
- A people to whom God has bound Himself
- A grammar of faith, prayer, and hope
This is no small thing.
God does not reveal Himself first to isolated souls,
but to a people
(Exodus 3:12).
The baptized soul is given:
- Christ confessed
- Scripture received
- Sacraments trusted
- Doctrine learned
Without this formation,
what later feels like “fire”
is often only confusion or pride.
Water grounds the soul
in what can be spoken together
(Acts 2:42).
C. The Gift—and the Limit—of Communal Knowing
Yet all communal knowing has a boundary.
The Church teaches us who God is truly,
but not how God will be present to each soul.
Doctrine guards truth;
it does not exhaust encounter.
The catechized soul knows rightly:
- God is Father
- Christ is Savior
- The Spirit gives life
But knowing that
is not the same as being led
where that knowledge no longer consoles.
But knowing that
is not the same as being led
where that knowledge no longer consoles.
Even the most faithful teaching
cannot prevent this moment:
“Truly, you are a God who hides himself.”
(Isaiah 45:15)
Water gives truth.
Fire gives truth without support.
D. Why Baptism Is Not Final
Baptism initiates the soul
into the form of Christ’s life.
But it does not yet conform the soul
to Christ’s mode of knowing the Father.
Christ did not live by doctrine alone.
He lived by obedience
when the Father was silent
(Mark 14:36).
The baptized believer must eventually learn:
- To pray without sweetness
- To trust without explanation
- To love without the reassurance of God’s nearness
This is not failure of baptism.
It is its fulfillment.
E. Fire Does Not Replace Water
Fire does not negate water.
It presupposes it.
No soul can endure unknowing
unless it has first known truly.
Fire strips away:
- Images
- Expectations
- Spiritual securities
But it does not strip away:
- Christ
- Faith
- The Church
The soul in fire does not leave the creed;
it clings to it
without feeling it.
This is why the Church must baptize with water—
and why she cannot baptize with fire.
This is why the Church must baptize with water—
and why she cannot baptize with fire.
Fire belongs to God alone
(Hebrews 12:29).
F. The Necessary Passage
Water says:
“This is who God is.”
Fire asks:
“Will you trust Him when He no longer feels like this?”
Both belong to the same Christ.
John the Baptist stood at this threshold.
Christ crossed it.
Every disciple must follow.
G. Final Word from a Servant of the Church
Let no one despise water
in longing for fire.
And let no one cling to water
to avoid the fire.
God is faithful in both.
But only fire teaches the soul
to love God
for God alone
(Job 13:15).
That is not beyond baptism.
It is baptism
completed.
Radically Happy 
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