Honor is a noble ideal, a guiding principle that shapes our character and relationships. It binds us to truth, loyalty, and justice, giving us a framework for righteous living. Yet, as I reflect on my life, I have learned that honor alone is not enough. There are moments when clinging to honor leads not to wisdom but to pride, not to righteousness but to folly. To truly follow God, we must look beyond honor to the higher call of grace and humility.
Two encounters shaped my understanding of honor’s limits. In one, I feigned madness to save my life. In the other, I nearly committed vengeance in the name of honor, only to be stopped by the wisdom of a woman. These stories—the madman before Achish and the fool who was Nabal—taught me that true wisdom lies not in rigid adherence to honor or law but in embracing grace, humility, and trust in God’s purposes.
The Madman: When Honor Is Not Enough
When I fled from Saul, I found myself in Gath, the city of my enemies. Alone and vulnerable, I realized that my reputation as a warrior preceded me. The Philistines recognized me as the one who had slain their champion, Goliath. My life was in danger. What could I do? Proclaim my identity and die a noble death? Cling to honor and meet destruction?
Instead, I pretended to be insane. I scratched at the doors and let saliva run down my beard. I abandoned my dignity to survive, and King Achish dismissed me as harmless. I lived to fight another day.
At the time, I felt shame. Was this cowardice? A betrayal of my identity? Yet now I see that God’s purposes were greater than my pride. By setting aside honor, I preserved the life God intended me to lead. This taught me that honor is not an idol to be worshiped. Sometimes survival and obedience to God require setting aside human constructs to follow His will.
The Fool: When Honor Becomes Pride
Another lesson came through Nabal, a man of wealth and pride who lived up to his name—“fool.” When my men sought provisions after protecting his flocks, they did so with respect and honor. Yet Nabal, in his arrogance, insulted me and my men. He refused hospitality, violating the sacred customs of our people.
My anger flared. I gathered my men to destroy Nabal and his household. Was this not just? He had dishonored me! Yet as we approached, Abigail, his wife, met me with wisdom and humility. She brought provisions and begged me to spare her household, saying, “The Lord has kept you from bloodguilt and from avenging yourself with your own hand.”
Her words pierced my heart. I saw that my sense of honor, unchecked by grace, had led me toward vengeance. I thanked God for sending her, for she reminded me that honor is not the highest law. Mercy, humility, and trust in God’s justice are greater.
The Limits of Honor
These two moments—the madman and the fool—revealed to me the limits of honor.
- Honor Without Wisdom Becomes an Idol: If I had clung to honor before Achish, I would have died needlessly. If I had avenged myself on Nabal, I would have acted out of pride, not righteousness.
- Honor Without Grace Leads to Destruction: Nabal’s refusal to show honor cost him his life. My refusal to show mercy could have cost me my integrity. Honor is good, but it must be tempered by humility and guided by grace.
- The Law Cannot Save Us: Honor, like the law, is insufficient to transform the heart. It can guide us but cannot redeem us. Only grace—God’s unmerited favor—can do that.
Beyond Honor: Living by Grace
Honor has its place, but it is not the ultimate standard. True wisdom lies in looking beyond honor to the higher law of grace. This means forgiving others, even when they seem dishonorable. It means trusting God’s justice rather than taking vengeance into our own hands. It means embracing humility, as Abigail did, and acting in ways that reflect God’s mercy and love.
When I feigned madness, I stepped outside the bounds of honor to fulfill God’s purposes. When Abigail stayed my hand, she reminded me that mercy is greater than vengeance. Both moments showed me that to live by grace is to trust God’s wisdom, even when it challenges our human sense of justice.
May we all learn to live not by honor alone but by the grace that transforms. For it is grace, not honor, that leads us to the heart of God.
Radically Happy 
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