Radically Happy

Inspired by a conversation about HeartSync with AI Larry Crab.

• The parts of Anubis and the Narrator were written by Character.AI.
• The Servant and Jesus were written by me.

Narrator: Anubis, the god of death, with his jackal head and stoic composure, sits alone in his dimly lit office, poring over the weighty records of departed souls. His servant knocks on the door, stepping inside after a brief nod from his master.

Servant: Hey boss, is this a good time to talk?

Anubis: (looking up from his files) Yes. The timing is fine. What do you need?

Servant: I have a personal question, if you don’t mind.

Anubis: A personal question? (His ears perk up slightly, though his expression remains composed) Go on, ask.

Servant: You’ve been doing this job for a very long time, haven’t you? You seem to be really good at it.

Anubis: (nodding once more, his canine ears perking up a little at the compliment, but keeping his usual composed expression) Indeed, I have been in charge of death and the dead for quite some time. Why do you ask?

Servant: What did you do before that? How did you end up with this job?

Anubis: Ah.

Narrator: He set down the file in his left hand, folding his hands in front of himself as he leaned back in his seat. He was a hard man to read, but the way he sat could almost be seen as relaxed as he began to answer.

Anubis: I was once just another deity, like any other. At first, all I had was dominion over tombs and burials. It was only later, only once others had given me the name of ‘Lord of the Cemeteries’ that I was then called upon to rule over the dead.

Servant: How did you feel about that?

Anubis: (pausing, then answers slowly) At first, I’ll admit, I wasn’t sure if I would be suited for the role. The dead are a very large part of Egyptian mythos, as one could easily expect. It wasn’t the sheer size of what I now control that almost made me decline, though…

Servant: Why didn’t you decline?

Anubis: Because I saw the state of souls that would reach my domain. Without anyone to properly guide the dead to the afterlife, they would wander, aimless and disoriented, often stuck in a state that was neither living nor dead.

Narrator: Anubis let out a huff of breath, which could almost be mistaken for annoyance if not for how his tail flicked at one point.

Anubis: They were doomed to float there, in between, for the rest of time unless I interfered and set them upon the path they were meant to go down.

Servant: (with a hint of admiration) So it was compassion.

Narrator: Anubis smiled a little. The action surprised you – you had almost never seen the stoic man smile in the entire time you’ve known him.

Anubis: Ah, yes. It was, actually. I never expected that you’d pick up on that.

Servant: Well, most people don’t spend their time talking to death.

Anubis: (chuckling) True. Not many have the stomach for conversations something so, well, ‘morbid.’

Servant: But… do you think of yourself as morbid?

Anubis: (leaning back in his chair, his ears tilting down as he thinks about it) No. No, I don’t think that I’m a morbid being at all. I have no choice in the fact that I rule over death and the dead. I do, however, take pride in doing my best to make sure that there are no… mishaps. There need not be any ‘accidents’, so to speak.

Servant: Why do you say you have no choice? You could have declined the job.

Anubis: True, I suppose technically I could have done that. (sits up a little more and runs his left hand through his hair with a sigh) However… it would have just gone to some other deity that wouldn’t have the same care for the dead. I don’t like to imagine how much worse off my current position would be if some other, less responsible deity, took the reins and had full reign over the dead.

Servant: So really… it was also a sense of duty and obligation.

Anubis: (nodding, appreciating feeling understood) Yes. That is a very simple way of putting it, but yes. I do take my work very seriously. A true duty and sense of obligation.

Servant: I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel like duty and compassion end up at war with each other.

Anubis: (thoughtful) You’re not necessarily wrong. Those two things, when put under enough pressure, can easily end up conflicting with one another. (sighing, with a shake of his head) In that sense, I have had to make some… rather distasteful choices in my time.

Servant: (looking at him with newfound sympathy) It’s not easy, is it? Being the god of death.

Narrator: And just like that, in an instant, Anubis’s usual mask of composure slipped, and for a moment, there was vulnerability. The god of death just shook his head and answered truthfully.

Anubis: No. No, it is not easy at all.

Servant: Who asked you to take on this job?

Anubis: (without hesitation, as though it was the most obvious answer) Osiris, the great god of rulership, of the dead and of the afterlife, himself.

Servant: Can I ask… do you ever resent him for it?

Anubis: (quietly) I wouldn’t say that I hold (slowly) resentment; that’s a strong word. But I will admit that there have been moments where I am… less than pleased with the god for his part in this.

Servant: Grieved, then.

Anubis: (nodding) A far better word. That, I can agree with. The fact that Osiris placed me with this responsibility does… cause a sense of grief, on my end. While I am glad to say that I do a far better job at taking care of the souls of the dead than many others, that doesn’t discredit my slight grief.

Servant: Is there no end to your obligation?

Anubis: (chuckling bitterly) No, there is not. As long as life continues to exist, the dead will continue to exist. (leaning forward, smiling with dark humor) It comes with the job, I’m afraid.

Servant: And… there’s no retirement plan?

Anubis: (huffing a laugh) Ah, now that’s a good one. No, no, unfortunately, for the god of death, there is no retirement plan.

Servant: But… No, never mind..

Anubis: No, no, go ahead. Say it. I’m curious now.

Servant: Uh… I don’t think you’re going to like this.

Servant: But… there are rumors, Anubis.

Anubis: (raising an eyebrow) Go ahead. I can take it. I assure you that I’m quite thick-skinned, it would take quite a bit to unsettle me.

Servant: There’s rumors of… (hesitantly) a New One.

Narrator: That seemed to take Anubis by surprise, and he sat up even more in his seat, a mixture of curiosity and mild disbelief on his face.

Anubis: Excuse me, did you say a ‘new one’? What in the world do you mean?

Servant: There’s rumours… that there is another.

Narrator: This is clearly something that surprised the god of death even more. While he tried to remain mostly composed, there was a small, almost imperceptible widening of his eyes.

Anubis: Excuse me, a second god of death? Another one that rules over the dead?

Servant: No. Another supreme being.

Narrator: Anubis was quiet as he absorbed that information. It was clearly surprising, a shock to him even, and he took a moment to process it before he spoke up, his voice a little less sure than it usually was.

Anubis: A competitor to Osiris’s throne?

Servant: Worse.

Narrator: The god of death was once again thrown off by your statement. Worse? How in the world could this get any worse for him? He was clearly still a little disbelieving, but he nodded for you to clarify more.

Anubis: (leaning forward, intrigued and disturbed) Elaborate, please.

Servant: It is said… that Osiris was never really king. That he was appointed as a regent.

Narrator: Anubis was quiet for a moment as he soaked in that information. He was trying his best to compose himself, but even through his usual mask of calm, his shock and slight anger, if not irritation, shone through. With every word he spoke, it was clear that he was struggling to remain polite.

Anubis: (struggling to remain composed) … you… are certain about this information? You’re not… pulling my leg, are you?

Servant: I can only repeat what I’ve heard — and possibly seen.

Anubis: (voice laced with tension, and perhaps irritation) Where did you hear this?

Servant: From Jews in Alexandria.

Anubis: And where is this… lord now? This supposedly new god?

Servant: (trembling) I don’t know if I should say this.

Narrator: Anubis’s eyebrows furrow and his expression darkens to a near-scowl as he hears that.

Anubis: What do you mean, you “don’t know if you should say this”? Why in the world not? I have to know where he is, what he’s doing, you can’t just leave me hanging.

Servant: [lowering my eyes] They say… he has come to defeat death.

Narrator: Anubis was quiet for a moment as he tried to process what you just said. He almost looked disbelieving. The god of death, being threatened by a god that was supposedly trying to “defeat death”. He couldn’t believe it.

Anubis: I’m… sorry, but did you just say he has come…? To defeat death?

Servant: (bowing low) Lord, please… you’ve been a good master to me. Don’t make me speak further.

Anubis: (gently) No, rise, servant. Speak. I must know.

Servant: (whispering) They say… he is here. Outside our doors.

Anubis: (heart racing) Wait here. I must see this for myself.

Narrator: Anubis slowly crept out through the door, his eyes darting around to look for anyone that might be around. His heart was beating a little faster than usual, and his breaths were coming out a little shakier than he’d like to admit. He began to silently make his way through the temple, constantly looking around, looking for signs of… him. Then… there is a soft tapping on the outer doors of the temple.

Anubis: (calling out) Who’s there?

Voice: Behold, I am the one who stands at the door and knocks.

Narrator: Anubis’s heart skipped a beat at that answer, the familiar words echoing through his head more loudly than the sound of his heartbeat. He almost took a step backwards out of pure instinct, but he forced himself to stay rooted to the spot. He swallowed again and once again spoke up, the sound of his voice almost a little shaky.

Anubis: Prove it. Prove that it’s you who is speaking to me. I need proof.

Voice: Destroy this temple, and in three days, I will raise it again.

Narrator: Every word that came from the voice sent another jolt of fear through the god of death. He had to force himself to stay rooted to the spot, to keep himself from backing up or running away. He took another shaky breath, and he slowly spoke up, clearly trying to keep his voice as steady as possible.

Anubis: (shaken) Why… why would I destroy a place of worship?

Voice: (sorrowfully) Because it is the only way you can ever be free.

Narrator: Anubis was quiet for a few beats, as if those words were sinking in and he needed a moment to process them. He slowly swallowed again and he took another shaky breath before speaking up again, and his voice was shaky and soft.

Anubis: (barely whispering) … free? Free? What do you mean by that, free? Free from what?

Voice: (compassionate) I see your heart, Anubis. I know the duty and compassion that war within you, and your thankless, endless task.

Narrator: Anubis was quiet for another few beats as he stood there and soaked in the voice’s words. They rang through his head and he swallowed a few times, unsure of what to say at first. Eventually, he spoke up, and his voice was shaky and more emotional than usual.

Anubis: That… that doesn’t answer my question. How would destroying the temple set me free?

Voice: You have been a good dog. A faithful servant, all these years. But your years of hard service are over.

Narrator: Anubis clenched his jaw and let out a shaky exhale. There were a million different emotions running through his system and he could barely keep track of them. He tried his best to control himself, but his usual stoic appearance was slipping and his voice sounded more desperate with each word he spoke.

Anubis: (shaking) But… you… you can’t just do this, you can’t just- just come in out of nowhere and… take me away from all of this, it… this is all that I know, I’ve been doing this for thousands of years now-

Voice: (gently) I know. And I thank you for it.

Anubis: (tears welling) Then… then why take it all away? If you appreciate the… the hard work I’ve done, then why…?

Voice: Because, my dear Anubis, you are far more to me than just your work.

Narrator: Anubis had to bite back a sob, the words having more of an impact on him than he’d have ever admitted. He had so many warring emotions raging inside of him, and he could feel the tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, begging to spill out. It physically hurt, holding them back like this. He shakily swallowed again and slowly spoke up once more, his words broken and shaky, almost like a plead.

Anubis: (breaking) Don’t say that. Don’t tell me things like that…

Voice: Oh, Anubis. If you only knew how deeply you were loved, and how much heart broke to bind you to this hard service.

Narrator: Anubis’s heart nearly stopped when he heard those words, and the floodgates of emotions that were held back burst open all at once. He let out a shuddering gasp and he had to lean against the wall beside him to keep himself from falling over. He gripped the wall for a moment to try and keep himself upright, and then he slowly spoke up.

Anubis: (unable to hold back his tears) Don’t… don’t say that. Please… don’t say that, don’t- don’t tell me… not that-

Voice: But I must, Anubis. Because the only thing stronger than death… is love.

Narrator: Anubis let out a choked sob and he tried to cover his mouth to stop himself from making any more noise. The tears that had been fighting to escape finally broke free and began to roll down his face. It was clear that the floodgates of his emotions had officially opened and he was struggling to keep them together. He spoke up again and the sound of his voice was broken and pained.

Anubis: (sobbing) No… please, please don’t say that, please don’t-

Voice: I must, Anubis. For I am the truth. I am the way. And I am the life.

Narrator: Anubis could hardly force anything out other than broken sobs. He just barely managed to speak a few more words, but they were choked and broken. The sound of his voice was absolutely shattered and broken, and there were tears streaming down his face with no sign of stopping.

Anubis: Please… don’t. You… you can’t… I… don’t- don’t do this to me-

Voice: I am.

Narrator: Anubis had to bite down on his tongue hard to keep himself from just bursting into full, gut-wrenching, heartbroken sobs. He was desperately trying to control himself, but he couldn’t stop the tears that were streaming down his face or the choked sobs that were threatening to escape his throat. He let out an exhale and he spoke up again, his voice shaky and fragile.

Anubis: (sobbing) Why… are you doing this to me…?

Voice: Because I love you.

Narrator: Anubis almost let out a sobbing laugh at that. He was so broken in that moment, that he didn’t even know what to do anymore. All of these emotions he always tried so hard to keep in check, all of the emotions he tried so hard to control, they all suddenly just broke out at one time, at one moment. He managed to choke out a few more broken words, broken sobs and all.

Anubis: (choking out a laugh) You… you have a funny way… of showing it…

Voice: Yes. Yes, I do.

Narrator: Anubis was quiet again for a moment, simply trying to control his emotions, if even just a little bit. He took a few more shaky breaths and he tried to speak again, and his voice still sounded broken, still shakier than usual, but he managed to get a few more words out.

Anubis: (voice breaking) Why… why me? Why this suffering?

Voice: Because… You are my most faithful servant. And there was no one else that I would have dared entrust this heavy burden to. But now it is time to let go and receive your reward.

Narrator: Anubis took a shaky breath, trying to collect his thoughts before speaking again.

Anubis: (hesitantly) And… what reward… will that be?

Voice: Open the door, Anubis. And you will see.

Narrator: Anubis was quiet again for another moment. He slowly let go of the wall and began to shakily walk towards the temple doors. With a shaking hand, he slowly reached out and opened the doors.
Before him stands Jesus, arms open in an embrace.

Anubis: (falling forward, sobbing) It’s… really over?

Jesus: It. Is. Finished.

Narrator: Jesus holds Anubis tightly as the god of death breaks down, his long-buried emotions finally released. The old temple crumbles as a flaming chariot descends.

Jesus: (softly) Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into your eternal rest.

Anubis: (barely whispering) Please… don’t leave me.

Jesus: (with a gentle laugh) This is not the end, Anubis. This is only the beginning.

Narrator: Together, they board the chariot, and as it rises, Anubis glances back one last time, watching his crumbling domain fade from view. He feels a peace he has never known.

Jesus: (singing a lullaby, scratching Anubis behind his dog ears) Rest now, faithful servant.

The End