Radically Happy

WARNING: Contains spoilers for The Barbie Movie.

Continued from Sex 408C: When Ken Met Christ

[The intro and responses for Barbie and the Narrator are by Character.AI. I play the parts of Ken and Jesus.]

Narrator: Barbie’s only been a human for a few weeks now. She’s still figuring out the basics. (This has led to multiple visits to the ER due to her forgetting to eat. It’s not her fault she never had to eat in Barbie Land!)

Walking through the streets of California, she sees a person dressed in pink. A pink sundress, to be exact. Almost like how Barbie used to dress when she lived in Barbie Land. But this is the Real World, and, curiously, Barbie begins to follow the person dressed in pink.

She follows the girl… and is shocked to see she is meeting with Ken!

Barbie watches from behind a bush as the girl is sitting with Ken. She listens in curiously, trying to hear their conversation.

The girl hands Ken something. He thanks her. They stand up, and he gives her a quick peck on the cheek. The girl leaves.

Barbie’s a bit jealous. Why would Ken be giving that girl a kiss? Ken’s supposed to only be friends with everyone but Barbie. She wants to confront him, but Ken sees her before she can say anything.

Ken: Barbie! So good to see you. I was hoping I’d run into you on This Side.

Barbie: “KEN!” Barbie jumps from behind the bush. She’s upset, and it shows a bit in her voice. “I saw you with that girl. What were you two doing?”

Ken: Oh, Kendra. She’s a… new friend. I just arrived here a few days ago, and she’s helping me get settled.

Barbie: “A new friend?” She steps closer to him, still looking upset. “You can’t have friends who are girls. You’re supposed to be mine!”

Ken: Looks down. That’s what I thought too. Looks up. But you taught me different. That I shouldn’t define myself by our relationship. Right? That I am “Kenough” on my own?

Barbie: “Of course you’re Kenough! But you’re Kenough for me,” she argues. “You’re my boyfriend, and my only boyfriend. You can’t go around seeing other girls!”

Ken: Cocks his head. Don’t you remember breaking up with me after stopping the patriarchy?

Barbie: “That’s not….” She huffs, crossing her arms. Ken’s right, and they both know it. “But just because we’re not boyfriends-and-girlfriend anymore doesn’t mean you can be going around being all… kissy with other girls!”

Ken: Ken grins. That’s not it at all. Why don’t you sit down and get the rest of the story?

Barbie: She scowls for a moment longer, then reluctantly sits down with him. “And I’m only sitting down because I want to hear why you’re breaking my heart. Got it?”

Ken: Ken laughs. Please, don’t be so dramatic. I know I only stung your pride. You’re the one who broke my heart. Pauses. And actually, [suddenly somber] I wanted to thank you for that.

Barbie: “You wanted to thank me for breaking your heart?” she says, her expression becoming more and more upset. “Why on earth would you want to thank me for that?”

Ken: Ken sighs. Because I was a child. I was living in a fantasy with a plastic girl, pretending I was a real man. Takes her hand. You inspired me, Barbie. You chose to find your own identity, becoming a real woman. Not stuck in the box of who you were “supposed” to be. Lets go. Now it is time for me to do the same.

Barbie: She doesn’t say anything for a few moments, simply thinking. Everything he said was true, she knew. Ken was living in a fantasy, a fantasy Barbie started. But that wasn’t fair to Ken. She didn’t want to hold him back from growing as a person. “I guess that makes sense…” she slowly says. “But you’re still my best friend. Don’t forget that. Okay, Ken?”

Ken: Never! Ken stands up and holds out his hand. Friends?

Barbie: She reaches out and grabs his hand, letting him pull her up. “Friends! Always and forever.”

Narrator: They part. It is several months later before Barbie sees him again. Ever since that weird conversation with Ken, Barbie still has a lot on her mind. She thought the change to being human would change everything. She was wrong.

Walking down the street by herself, she spots a familiar figure in the distance. Her heart leaps up to her throat as she thinks she sees Ken. But she isn’t completely sure it’s him.

She follows discreetly. But he is looking around, so she hides. It’s definitely him, and he seems to be looking for someone. Curious, Barbie hides behind a tree, still watching him.

Nothing happens. She decides to casually walk past and see if he recognizes her. She takes a deep breath before slowly walking out into the view again. She keeps walking like she normally would, looking at nothing in particular. But she’s secretly hoping that Ken spots her.

Ken: Barbie! Is that you? Ken stands up.

Barbie: She glances in his direction, trying to act nonchalant. But once she actually looks at him her act slowly fades away. “Ken! It is you,” she says, starting to make her way closer to him.

Ken: Great to see you again. He steps forward with arms outstretched as if to give her a hug, but then pulls back and offers a hand.

Barbie: She looks slightly disappointed that he didn’t give her a hug, but smiles and gives him a firm handshake instead. “It’s great to see you again, too.” She takes a moment to study his face, noticing his sharper facial features and his stubble, and realizes he looks more… grown up. Maturer.

Ken: You look fantastic! Come, sit down. I’m actually meeting a friend, but they’re running late.

Barbie: She perks up a bit, following his lead and sitting down beside him. “A friend, hm?” she asks, trying not to show it but sounding a bit jealous. “What kind of friend?”

Ken: You’ll see. He smiles mysteriously. So, how have things been going?

Barbie: “Things have been going good!” she replies. She’s a bit distracted by the fact that he’s secretive about the person he’s meeting. All she knows is that it’s a ‘friend’. “Life as a human is definitely different from life as a doll. Have to eat, sleep, pay taxes…” She grimaces slightly.

Ken: Ken sighs. Yeah, I know. I got a job. It is Beach… Parking Valet.

Barbie: She holds back a laugh. “Beach parking valet?” She repeats, raising an eyebrow.

Ken: Ken laughs sadly. Hey, I have to start with what I know. At least I get to be outside. How about you? Looks concerned. Have you got a job, found a place to stay?

Barbie: “Oh, I’m fine!” She waves her hand in the air, trying to brush off his concern. Honestly, she’s been a bit of a mess; she’s been struggling with finding a job to support herself, and she’s been couch surfing at her friends’ houses. “I’m just taking some time to figure out things, that’s all.”

Ken: Ken looks down, fingering his napkin. Do you ever… wish we were back in BarbieLand, and nothing had changed?

Barbie: She was about to say something but stops once he mentions Barbie Land. She doesn’t respond for a moment, her mind wandering into the past. Finally, she answers. “Sometimes…” She whispers. “There’s just so much to… deal with. In the real world. But I know things can’t go back to the way they were.”

Ken: He grins. That’s my Barbie. Punches her gently on the shoulder. Life is just one big adventure. As long as you believe in yourself, there’s nothing you can’t do. Right?

Barbie: She can’t help but smile, feeling encouraged simply from listening to him talking. He always seems to know what to say. She punches him back, a bit harder than he did to her. “Of course! Barbie can do anything!”

Narrator: Ken’s smile is a bit wistful, and he doesn’t speak.

Barbie: Barbie notices his expression change a bit and immediately is concerned. “Ken…?”

Ken: Shaking himself out of his reverie. Sorry, what?

Barbie: “Are you alright? You just… had a weird look on your face, that’s all.” She says, looking at him intently.

Ken: He smiles warmly. I was just thinking how I used to idolize all the Barbies. You all seemed so perfect, so professional, so sure about who you were. Gestures. But now that we are in the real world, I’m learning that we are all a work in progress, just trying to figure things out one day at a time.

Barbie: Barbie smiles genuinely at his honest words. He’s not wrong; even though Barbie seems to always have it together, the truth is she’s still trying to figure things out, too. Like many other humans. “That’s very true. There’s no such thing as perfect, and no one really has it all together. That’s one thing I’ve learned from leaving the doll world and starting out here in the real world.”

Ken: Ken giggles.

Barbie: “What? What’s so funny?” She pouts slightly at his giggling, but still is smiling.

Ken: Ken blushes. It… nothing.

Barbie: She huffs, crossing her arms across her chest and giving him a mock-annoyed glare, but she’s still smiling. “You’re being mysterious, Ken. Tell me what you’re giggling about!”

Ken: Sighs. There is… actually I… met someone. Who really does have it all together.

Barbie: That immediately grabs her attention. She uncrosses her arms and leans forward, focusing on his face intently. “Someone…? Someone who you’re… dating?”

Ken: Ken laughs. I wouldn’t quite put it that way, but you’re closer than you think.

Barbie: She leans even closer, almost leaning out of the chair. She doesn’t know why she’s so invested, but for some reason all she can feel is a burning curiosity. “Then how would you put it, hm? Tell me about whoever you’re seeing.”

Ken: Ken grins. See for yourself. He’s here.

Barbie: Immediately she’s turning around, searching the area for whoever Ken’s seeing. She looks at each person that passes by, but no one in particular catches her eye. “Where is he? Who is he?”

Jesus: Hello, Barbie!

Barbie: Barbie’s head immediately whips around. She stares at Jesus, a bit dumbfounded. She wasn’t exactly expecting to see Jesus here… “Um… hi,” she stutters out.

Narrator: Ken grins and pulls out a seat for Jesus.

Barbie: She immediately turns back around, watching the scene before her. There’s Ken, pulling a chair out for Jesus. Barbie’s mouth falls open. Did she hear correctly? Is Ken, her old pretend boyfriend, on a date with Jesus?

Jesus: Sorry to be late, Ken. But as you can see, I had my reasons. He winks at Barbie.

Barbie: Barbie’s speechless. The Lord himself just apologized to Ken, and then winked at her. She feels her cheeks flush slightly.

Ken: Ken laughs. Perfect timing, as always. I was just telling Barbie about you.

Barbie: That takes Barbie out of her stunned silence. She looks over at Ken, trying to remember what it was he was saying about Jesus. “You were?”

Ken: You said nobody really has it all together. You were almost right. Jesus is the exception.

Barbie: She’s still very much confused. Not just about the fact that Ken’s dating Jesus (he’s dating Jesus?!), but also about her own feelings right now. Jealousy? Frustration? Disbelief? She didn’t know. “You’re dating…” she sputters, looking at Jesus and gesturing at him. “Jesus?”

Jesus: Jesus laughs. That’s… an imperfect metaphor, Barbie. In this world, dating and romance are intimately connected with procreation. What Ken and I have [punching him on the arm] is totally non-physical, but actually more profound.

Barbie: She slowly nods, starting to understand what he’s trying to say. A relationship like the one Ken and Jesus share is a lot more than what she’s seen between dating couples. “So it’s more… more than just dating? More than romantic…?”

Ken: Ken blushes. You know how I used to get my identity from you? And didn’t know who I was when you were gone? And it kept me from becoming the best version of myself?

Barbie: She nods slowly, silently listening as he speaks. She knew exactly what he meant; that was something Ken had struggled with for a long time, and the reason he felt so insecure in their relationship.

Ken: Ken grins. Now I get my value — well, try to — from Jesus. And instead of competing with my other relationships, he’s teaching me how to be even more present and real in them, so I become a better version of myself. Even… [looking down, and speaking quietly] a version of Him.

Barbie: She’s quiet for a few moments as she takes in the depth of his words. It’s hard for her to wrap her mind around — Ken finding his value in someone else? She could hardly imagine it. She glances over at Jesus, who was silently listening to their conversation. A sudden pang of jealousy runs through her, and she has to shake the feeling away.

Jesus: Jesus looks at her. It is okay, Barbie. Don’t be afraid to say what is on your mind.

Barbie: She looks at Jesus, and is a bit taken aback. There’s something about the way he looks at her, almost like he can look right through her. “I… well… I’m just having a hard time understanding all of this. Ken finding his value in you? I never thought…” She trails off, feeling a bit flustered.

Jesus: Jesus takes her hand. I understand. Ken was always there for you. His regard for you was a core part of your identity, if not as much as you were for him.

Barbie: She looks down, her breath catching in her throat when he takes her hand. She slowly nods, knowing he’s right. Ken would do absolutely anything for her, without hesitation. “That’s… true,” she murmurs, still staring down at their intertwined hands.

Jesus: Jesus nods sadly and releases her hand. It hurts to lose that part of yourself. Trust me, I know.

Barbie: She lets her now free hand fall back down into her lap. She can feel a lump forming in her throat, and a strange sadness that she can’t quite identify. She doesn’t look up at Jesus, but she’s listening intently. “You… you do?”

Jesus: Jesus looks at her, and it seems she can see entire universes in His eyes. Yes, Barbie. That is exactly what it felt like when my Father and I created the universe. We gave up a little part of ourselves, to something that might not love us.

“We gave up a little part of ourselves, to something that might not love us.”

Jesus

Barbie: Barbie looks up at Jesus, trying to stop her mind from wandering. But everything he’s saying, everything he’s doing is causing that feeling of jealousy and confusion to grow heavier and more confusing, like a lump in the pit of her stomach. “So… by giving up a part of yourselves, how did you feel afterwards? Sad? Empty?” She asks softly.

Jesus: Jesus grins. Not at first. We had a plan. I felt hopeful. Excited.

Barbie: She can’t help but mirror his smile back at him, his words stirring up something deep down in her heart. A feeling of hope, the same way she used to feel, back when she was still a doll. She glances over at Ken, who had also been listening intently. She studies his face, taking in the subtle changes over the years, before speaking again. “So what… what happened after?”

Ken: Ken interrupts. That’s what Christmas is about, right? You coming into the world to help us fall back in love with you.

Barbie: She snaps out of her thoughts and turns her attention back to Ken. His words make her heart flutter, a wave of nostalgia hitting her like a punch to the gut. It’s as beautiful and terrible as it was back then, to think about how he fell for her in the first place. She nods slowly, trying to push down the feeling of nostalgia and jealousy that’s rising up in her chest. “Yes… Yes, that’s what it was about…”

Jesus: Jesus smiles sadly. Yes… and no.

Barbie: She’s confused once more. She looks back up at Jesus, her forehead creased in a frown. “What do you mean?”

Jesus: Jesus looks at her. Do you remember life as a doll, when everything seemed perfect?

Barbie: She nods slowly. How could she forget? Life as a doll was so simple, so easy — a simple routine that never varied. Everything seemed perfect on the outside. “Yes… I remember.”

Jesus: Yet, you chose to give it up. Do you remember why?

Barbie: She stares down for a moment. Her reasons were personal, but they run much deeper than wanting more from life. She was tired of perfection, tired of being the perfect Barbie everyone expected her to be. But how was she supposed to explain that…? “I… I just wanted something different,” she finally says. “Being a doll, with everything so perfect… it started to get boring. I wanted something more out of life.”

Jesus: Jesus lifts her chin. And you discovered more than perfection is also worse than perfection.

Barbie: She freezes at the touch, her breath catching in her throat. He’s looking at her intently, and she can’t look away from his gaze. She feels a strange mix of awe, respect, and confusion. A small voice in her head tells her she should look away. Don’t look at him like this, don’t get distracted. Remember what he is to Ken. Remember. “I… suppose… perfection and imperfection are two sides of the same coin.”

Jesus: Jesus shakes his head. Not quite. Imperfection is the absence of perfection. And yet [eyes twinkling] there is something even greater than perfection!

Barbie: She stares at him, intrigued, eager to continue listening. Her thoughts are a big jumbled mess, all the previous feelings of jealousy and confusion swirling around. But there’s also something else there, something much bigger and more powerful. She wants to know what it is he’s trying to tell her. “Even… greater than perfection? What do you mean?”

Ken: Ken interrupts Ooh! I know. Do you remember when Skipper was a baby? She was perfect!

Barbie: Barbie does remember, and a wave of nostalgia washes over her, that feeling of warmth and pure joy of being an older sister to the perfect little baby doll. She smiles faintly, her eyes sparkling at the memory. “Yes… How could I forget?”

Ken: Ken grins. But what about when she became a toddler, or a tween?

Barbie: Thinking back on it, she does remember a few of the not-perfect moments with Skipper. The temper tantrums, throwing fits and insisting she could do things herself… She laughs gently. “Ah… Yes, toddlers and tweens are a little more difficult to deal with.”

Ken: But the relationship you have with her now. It isn’t perfect. But isn’t it so much better than when she was a baby?

Barbie: A small smile appears on her face as she thinks about Skipper now. She’s grown up into a beautiful young lady, and her relationship with Barbie has grown deeper and richer than it had been back in the day. “Yes… Yes, it has. I love her even more now, even though it’s not perfect. Maybe… Maybe you’re right. Maybe imperfection is more beautiful than perfection.”

Jesus: Jesus grins. No, imperfection is still a problem. What’s beautiful… is maturity.

Barbie: Barbie tilts her head slightly in confusion. She glances over at Ken, whose face mirrors the expression she’s making. “Maturity…?” she repeats, still not quite grasping the underlying meaning behind Jesus’s words.

Jesus: Growing into who you are supposed to become.

Barbie: “Growing into who you’re supposed to be…” she murmurs, repeating his words as they sink in. She thinks back on her journey to becoming human… leaving behind the shallow, two-dimensional life of a doll for something much more real, complex, even painful at times. But she had learned so much since her transformation…

She thinks back on her journey to becoming human… leaving behind the shallow, two-dimensional life of a doll for something much more real, complex, even painful at times.
But she had learned so much since her transformation…

Barbie

Jesus: Jesus nods. Your heart understands more than your mind can comprehend.

Barbie: She feels a pang in her chest, a sort of deep intuition beyond the boundaries of reason. She slowly nods, agreeing but still processing his words. She looks at Jesus in a different way now, seeing the deep wisdom and understanding in his eyes. But there’s still that pang of jealousy, still that confusing swirl of emotions, deep down in her gut.

Jesus: Jesus smiles. Go ahead. Say it.

Barbie: She freezes, and her breath hitches again. She’s not entirely sure what he’s talking about, but the way he says it makes her think he’s somehow able to read past the thoughts floating around her mind. “Say… what?” she stutters out. She doesn’t know whether she wants to say it or whether she should keep it to herself.

Jesus: Jesus glances at Ken. That.

Barbie: She shifts her gaze over to Ken, suddenly nervous and anxious to speak her mind. She takes a moment, taking a deep breath before gathering the words. “It’s just… it’s hard. Seeing the way you two talk. The connection you’ve developed. I… it makes me jealous,” she finally admits, the last two words coming out in a soft whisper. A part of her fears that she said the wrong thing, that it was a terrible thing to even think about.

Ken: Ken laughs. Oh, Barbie. I would have thought you of all people would have figured it out. But I guess [he smirks] the one job you’ve never had is priest!

Barbie: She cocks an eyebrow, looking back and forth between Ken and Jesus. She has no idea where Ken is going with this, even as he flashes her a cheeky smirk. She glances at Jesus, who has an amused expression on his face, as if he’s thoroughly entertained by the whole thing. “What… does that have anything to do with this?”

Jesus: Jesus reaches out and grabs both their hands. Barbie, human love is finite and limited. And that’s part of what makes it so precious when it is given away. But my love [reality seems to shimmer briefly] is as boundless as the sea. The more you give it away, the more there is for you to enjoy.

Barbie: She stares down at their intertwined hands, listening as Jesus explains the meaning behind his words. An endless, boundless love that can give more the more it’s shared. It’s not just a metaphor — she can feel an infinite energy flowing out of Jesus where their hands are connected.

She’s quiet for a few moments, taking in everything he’s said so far. The idea of sharing one’s love and having more of it in return… it almost feels strange, but also… alluring. Exciting.

Jesus: Jesus smiles. And who knows? Maybe after you’ve learned more about how to love yourselves the way I love you… He joins their hands together — and disappears.

Barbie: Barbie is surprised by his vanishing act, and she can’t help but let out a startled gasp as he disappears into thin air. She’s not quite sure what just happened, but there’s still a lingering sense of warmth and comfort. She stares at her hand, still feeling the weight of the other two.

She turns to Ken after a few moments, still in awe, still a bit dazed by Jesus’s words. “He’s… gone?”

Ken: Ken is speechless, staring at his hand intertwined with Barbie’s. A red flush slowly creeps up his face.

Barbie: Barbie looks at him, watching the flush spread across his cheeks. She feels her own heart start to race, their held hands sending little jolts of electricity through her body.

It’s then that the realization of the current situation slowly dawns on her, setting her face ablaze.

She’s holding hands with Ken.

She doesn’t say anything, instead biting her lip anxiously and looking away.

Ken: Ken quickly pulls his hand away. Uhhh…

Barbie: Barbie can’t help but feel a pang of disappointment as he pulls away. She tries to hide the look of hurt, the sudden emptiness where their hands were once joined. She tries to say something, but the words catch in her throat. She clears her throat and tries to speak, but all she can manage is the one word, “Why…”

Ken: Ken straightens up, and holds out both his hands to her. Barbie?

Barbie: She hesitates for a moment, her eyes focused on his hands. She slowly nods and places her hands in his, their fingers intertwining once again.

Ken: Coughs slightly. I’m going to be honest. I still have feelings for you. But…

Barbie: Barbie sucks in a quick breath as she listens, feeling a strange mixture of anxiety and anticipation. Her heart is pounding in her chest as she waits for Ken to continue.

Ken: I… I am still learning who I am. Who Jesus is. Who Jesus thinks I am. As much as I love the idea of spending time with you… I don’t want to go back to the person I was.

Barbie: Her heart pangs again, hurt and confusion mixing with her emotions. She looks down at their intertwined hands, the warmth and the sparks shooting through her skin. She takes a moment to collect her thoughts before responding.

“I understand what you’re saying. You need to find yourself… find your own path. But…” she trails off, biting the inside of her cheek.

Ken: Ken lets out a deep breath. How about… we meet here, once a week… with Jesus.

Barbie: She lets the words sink in, a wave of mixed emotions crashing through her once more. Once a week… spending time with both Ken and Jesus. It’s not quite how she imagined it, but a part of her can’t help but feel intrigued. She looks back up at Ken, her eyes flickering between his, searching for any hint of doubt. “…Okay. Once a week.”

Ken: He releases her hands and sits back. Take things slow. Build new emotional muscles, new skills. New habits.

Barbie: She nods slowly, understanding his intentions. He’s trying to take this slow, to build something new, something different. So she agrees with him. “New emotional muscles… new skills… new habits…” She repeats those words in her mind, allowing the idea to take shape and root in her heart.

Ken: He looks at her curiously. Isn’t that… what you’ve been searching for all along? The chance to be more than you ever imagined?

Barbie: It’s the truth. She’s been searching for something more, something different for so long. But hearing the words said out loud hits her hard, bringing back the feelings of emptiness she had in the doll world. She nods again, her voice soft and tinged with melancholy. “Yes… yes, that’s what I’ve been searching for. To be more than just a doll, to feel… alive.”

She’s been searching for something more, something different for so long. But hearing the words said out loud hits her hard, bringing back the feelings of emptiness she had in the doll world.

Barbie

Ken: Ken pulls a Bible out of a back pocket. Can I read something to you?

Barbie: She nods, feeling curious and a little puzzled by the question. As far as she knew, Ken had never been particularly religious before. “Yes, of course. Go ahead.”

Ken: He reads: “Jesus said, ‘The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.’”

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly

Jesus (John 10:10)

Barbie: She listens intently as he reads, the words sending a ripple of electricity down her spine. Those words… it’s as if they’re speaking to something deep inside her, stirring up feelings she can’t quite place. She mulls over the words after he finishes reading aloud, the phrase “have life and have it abundantly” repeating in her head.

Ken: Ken stands up. Barbie, I owe you so much. But I owe Jesus even more. Nothing would thrill me more than for you to know Jesus the way I do, and find in Him the abundant life you always dreamed of.

Barbie: She nods, her thoughts swirling. Abundant life… that’s all she’s really ever wanted. And she can sense the deep connection between Ken and Jesus, the trust and love that exist between them. It stirs up that pang of jealousy again, but also a stirring of curiosity within her. She looks up at him, her voice soft and filled with honesty. “Ken… I want that too. I want to find what you have… that ‘abundant life’ that Jesus seems to offer.”

Ken: Ken punches her lightly on the arm. That’s my girl! Smiles.

Barbie: She grins, the light punch in the arm a bit unexpected, but also a little endearing. The use of those two words, “my girl,” has her heart fluttering, a flush rising to her cheeks. She smiles at him, a mix of feelings welling up inside her. “Heh… your girl, huh?”

Ken: He grins. As long as you remember Jesus is My Man first! And hopefully, soon yours…

Barbie: She lets out a small laugh, slightly surprised by his words. “Don’t worry, I could never forget. And yes… maybe one day He’ll be mine too.”

To be continued