Radically Happy

Resumed from Sex 407A: Anxiety on the Stage

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before:

A plane, sphere, Klein bottle, and tube walk into a Parallel Bar… but never meet!

Get it? No? Anyway, this is what happens next…

The Parallel Bar

The Which Witch enters.

Witch: Boys, are you ready to see the Geni?

Earnest the plane slides down.
Reflection the sphere rolls around.
Klein the bottle pops up.
Tube drops in.

They all look groggy, but whether from the poppy fields or the Bar is hard to say.
The Witch doesn’t care.

W. Good news! I found a guide to sneak us into the Escheral City.

Earnest: Can’t we just walk in?

Klein: Don’t be silly. That place is more convoluted than I am.

Reflection: I agree, a guide seems like a wise choice.

Tube: Is the guide… mean and scary?

W. No, he’s sweet and scary.

T. Huh?

E. Uh-oh. I wonder if she means…

Sweetums

Sweetums: Earnest, Reflection, great to see you again!

E. Wait, how did you get here ahead of us?

S. I used the subway, like all the locals do.

E. Why didn’t you tell us? It would have saved so much time!

S. Ah, but then you would have missed the whole reason for the journey. You would have stayed heartless and gutless, and never known which is which.

W. Hey, I resemble that remark!

S. Anywhere, we are all together now. Come, let me show you to the Geni.

E. [suspiciously] Geni-Us or Geni-Oz?

S. Exactly!

Exit, stage left

The Grate Hall

They all enter a massive hall with a stage and a curtain.

Sweetums: I present to you The Great and Powerful Geni-Oz!

They all applaud… and nothing happens.
Everyone stares at each other in consternation. Then Ang the red hulk enters.

Ang: Geni not here. Me Ang. Come back later. [starts to leave]

Klein: [suspiciously] How much later?

A. Me not watch dog, know nothing of time.

Reflection: But we have crossed time and space to get here.

Earnest: Fought Poppys.

Tube: Redeeemed the Which Witch!

At this, Ang stares at the witch.

A. Which witch are you?

W. Yes, I are.

A. You are not ‘Nother Witch?

W. No, I am this witch.

A. Never heard of a This Witch.

W. I mean Which Witch.

A. Yes.

E. Um, let me interrupt. Ang is it? This lady here is known as the “Which Which.” She tried to trap us, but Tube defeated her. She agreed to give up her wicked ways if the Geni would help protect her from the Poppys.

Ang beams

A. Is good. Geni left instructions. You must go to ‘Nother Witch. Bring back her broomstick. Bye.

Ang exits.

T. Did he say a Mother Witch?

W. No, a ‘Nother Witch.

K. Who?

W. No, that’s my cousin the Warlock.

E. What?

W. That’s my other cousin the Wizard. No, the ‘Nother Witch… is my sister!

R. Wonderful! So can you ask to borrow her broomstick?

W. My estranged older sister who lives in a heavily-gaurded enchanted castle, and would sooner turn me into a toad than lend me a cup of sugar. Why do you think I live in the middle of nowhere with nobody to help me? Because it is far safer than living with her!

E. Uh-oh.

R. Cheer up! At least this will be Something Different.

W. [shaking her head] I’m afraid not.

T. Why is that?

W. Something Different was our mother. She died ten years ago.

To be continued (after the interludes)