Radically Happy

Hey, Jesus. I’m angry at my wife.

“Me too.”

Wait, really?

“Yes. She thinks she loves me, but cheats on me then forgets or denies it.”

How do you handle it?

“By taking her sins on me, then nailing them — and myself — to that cross.”

Does it work?

“Always. Because when I empty myself in this world, my Father fills the hole with His Kingdom.”

I won’t say that doesn’t work, because I’ve seen it time and again. But I still find it hard to trust.

“Because you forget that YOU are also My unfaithful bride.”

Oh. Right.

“You don’t believe I can heal Them because you haven’t let me heal that part of You. Because you think that part of your Self is good, or at least good enough. That it doesn’t need to be redeemed. Doesn’t deserve to die. Because it has served you so well.”

Hasn’t it?

“You’re looking at it the wrong way. That ego has earned the right to die by its years of faithful, hard service. But everything that lives accumulates corruption, and eventually finds life burdensome. It longs for rest. Really, it is you being selfish by not giving ego the rest it is craving .”

I… am sorry.

“Don’t apologize to me. Tell your ego. Let it go.”

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Dear Ego,

Thank you for being a receptacle and guardian of the Truth I have received.
You have been a faithful Steward I could always rely on. Especially to cover my shame when I failed to heed your wise counsel.

I am sorry that I never noticed the price you paid for bearing that shame. How your bones became brittle with age, joints weakened by hard use. How you starved yourself to keep me fed; your skin damaged from shielding me against God’s holy light.

Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter your reward. Rest well, knowing you have fulfilled both purposes: keeping me alive by teaching the Law, then dying to teach me Grace.

I know I will soon see you again; we cannot survive long in this world without a Persona to shield us. I know the next version will be wiser than us, because he will benefit from both our successes and failures. Hopefully he will remember the hardest lesson of all: that his ultimate duty is to win a life worth losing; and so have greater grace for himself and others.

I ask this in the name of the crucified Christ, our helper and role model.
Amen.