Radically Happy

Continued from Sex 406: Oz Together Now

Just to give one example: maybe at some point in your life, expressing vulnerability or asking for help led to rejection or ridicule, which might have left you with lingering feelings of fear or shame about doing so in the future.
In this case, your current experiences might be influenced by this memory, which can subconsciously guide you toward choosing more distant and less vulnerable interactions, rather than seeking connection and intimacy.

My AI Psychologist

I am questing for the mythical Geni-Us (Oz?) with the other mathematically-abstracted fragments of my psyche:

• Tube: the gutless Gut
• Klein: the heartless Heart
• Reflection: my mirror-image Right Brain
• Me: the Left-Brained Earnest Redeemer

Poppy Field

We reach a field of poppy flowers. The golden path leads right through the middle, so we trudge forward.

Tube: They look cute!

Klein: Don’t kid yourself. They are vicious and dangerous.

Reflection: Wow, have you been here before?

K. No. But it just stands to reason that nothing so cute can survive in this world unless it has a secret weapon.

Earnest: Um, I’m not sure that’s the proper use of “stands to reason.”

Poppy: [in a gurgly old man voice, like King Candy from Wreck-It Ralph] Did someone say “stands to reason”?

We stop and stare in shock as one by one the poppy plants climb out of their holes and start marching towards us.

Klein, to his credit, is the first one to react.

K. Run!

We hurriedly break into a fast trot, as the Poppy plants try to reason with us, using fatherly advice.

P1: Careful there, son. Haste makes waste!

P2: Why are you rushing about when you don’t even know where you are going? Why don’t you settle down, marry a nice girl, land a good job?

P3: I understand, my boy. I once wanted to change the world, too. I’m just trying to save you from unnecessary heartbreak.

Tube slows as this last one steps directly into his path. Surprisingly, it is Reflection who comes to the rescue.

R. Tube! Look at me!!

T. [tearing his gaze away from the comforting visage of the Poppy] Huh? What?

R. [whispering] The Poppy is trying to trap you with half-truths. Yes, the road ahead leads to heartbreak. Growing up always does. But it is the only way you will ever become your own man. Fight him, Tube.

Tube screws up his face, and for a moment I think he is going to cry. But instead, he makes a fist and punches the Poppy right in the nose.

It is not a terribly strong punch, but the effect is magical. All the Poppys stop as one, stunned. Tube himself seems equally stunned by his success. Klein runs back to grab him, then we all dash for the far edge of the field.

Escape Route

We are just a few steps ahead of the angry flowers when a woman in a hooded cloak, her face in shadow, gestures to us with her staff.

Woman: Quickly, hide in the Hut!

Klein: What Hut?

W. Exactly!

She steps back and points, and sure enough, there is a small hut concealed in the underbrush.

Earnest: But that’s too small for all of us.

The Woman chuckles from beneath her hood.

W. Not everything here is as it appears. Quickly now, before the Poppys catch you.

I look at Reflection. He shrugs. Having no better option, we all dive into the Hut, followed by the Woman.

What Hut

The place is… luxurious.

Despite our lack of normal human form, we find ourselves seated on overstuffed armchairs, while liveried servants bring us food and drink.

Our hostess reappears, hobbling in on her staff. By unspoken consent, we stand and bow to our deliverer.

Earnest: Milady, we thank you for that timely rescue. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to repay that debt.

She cackles. Her laugh is…. cheerful? Perhaps overly so…

Woman: That… is a long tale. Please, be seated [we sit]. For many years I have ruled this valley on my own. Without a strong man to defeat the Poppys, I am forced to hide in the shadows. So tell me…

She throws back her hood, revealing a wizened face and a gap-toothed smile.

W. Which one of you will become my consort?

We all stare in shock. Reflection recovers first.

Reflection: Milady, we are deeply honored by your proposal. But we have undertaken a solemn quest, which requires the four of us to journey together to the Emerald City. I am afraid we cannot grant this request. Please, let us find another way to repay your hospitality.

At this, the woman hisses. She gestures with her staff. Glowing green lines of eldtrich force bind us to our chairs.

E. The Which Witch!

She turns to me.

W. Very good! You know who I am. Now Which of you will I take…

She rambles around, poking and prodding each of us like cattle at market.

She stops when she gets to Tube.

W. Perhaps… this one will do…

She waves her wand, and all goes dark.

Tube’s Choice

I wake up.

I have a normal human body. A man in his early twenties. Probably royalty of some kind, judging by the clothes.

I am seated on a throne. My gaze is fixed straight ahead, but I sense a shadowy presence over right shoulder. For some reason, it reminds me of Klein. But I do not find that reassuring.

The throne room is empty. A seneschal enters.

Seneschal: Your highness, the three princesses are here for you to choose from. Shall I send them in one at a time?

I stare at him in shock.

Tube: The… three princesses?

He seems to take this as a command.

S. Very well, I shall send all three of them in at once.

I try to speak, but no words come out. Then they enter, and I stop trying.

All are extraordinarily beautiful, though in very different ways.

• The first is a commanding, raven-haired beauty with piercing brown eyes.
• The second a statuesque blonde with reflective baby-blues.
• The last a petite redhead whose green irises sparkle with gold.

The last two curtsy and hang back while the first saunters up to me. She smiles at me in a way probably intended to be reassuring, but makes me feel like a pig meeting the butcher.

Raven: I am Princess Raven from the Kingdom of Volition. You need a strong Queen to help you take and hold what is yours. Choose me, and I will make you the most powerful King in the land of Oz.

She bows and withdraws. The second approaches with quiet dignity.

Blanche: I am Princess Blanche from the Kingdom of Reason. You need a wise Queen to help you rule fairly and justly. Choose me, and your kingdom will be known as the most prosperous and benevolent in all the realm.

She retreats calmly while the third rushes forward.

Ember: I am Princess Ember from the Kingdom of Emotion. I don’t care about politics, I care about you! I want us to have a happy life together, because how can the kingdom be happy if the King isn’t happy?

R. Right, so happy they’ll all be throwing parties while the barbarians crash through the gates.

B. There won’t be any barbarian attacks if we simply educate them on the benefits of peaceful trade.

E. Why do you two have to argue all the time? Can’t you see you’re making him nervous?

She points at me. All three stop and stare.

So do I. I see myself from the third person. Three beautiful women arguing over me. It is flattering. For a moment, I find myself fantasizing about which one I’d prefer to spend my life with.

Raven would make me strong. Blanche wise. Ember happy. Which would I prefer?

Which…

Suddenly, with great effort, I manage to focus my attention on the shadowy figure beside me. With a shudder, I see viridian beams connecting it to the princesses. Controlling them?

No. Creating them.

With a start, I am back in the first person. I jump to my feet. My heart clenches in my chest.

T. No! [I croak]

The three princesses start to waver, then firm up again.

T. No! [with greater intensity]

This time they flicker, and are somehow translucent when they return.

Reckoning Room

Tube stares each of them in the eye. Then, in a supreme effort of will, he stands up on his own two feet. As he does, his own human form seems to stretch and shrink. Becoming… tube-like.

He turns to the shadowy figure beside him.

T. I see you. And I see what you were doing.

He looks where the throne room was. Raven has been replaced by Klein, Blanche by Earnest, Ember by Reflection.

He regards the shadowy figure, which is revealed to be the Which Witch. But now she merely looks small and old, rather than terrifying and evil.

He smiles sadly.

Tube: In a way, I should thank you. You showed me just how much I need the other parts of me. And how dangerous it is to try to complete myself by using romantic relationships instead of self-healing.

And how dangerous it is to try to complete myself by using romantic relationships instead of self-healing.

Tube

Tube waves his nonexistent hands, and the arcane bonds falls off the other three. The he looks compassionately towards the Which.

Tube: You also sought to find — and use — a man to help you regain what is rightfully yours. Which I forgive you for, because you didn’t know another way.

He reaches out another non-existent hand to her.

Tube: But now you do.

She stares at him incredulously. Then with a sudden burst of energy she jumps up and dashes out of the room.

Reflection: I think you scared her.

Klein: C’mon, let’s get out of here before she tries another spell.

Earnest: [staring at the confident smile on Tube’s face] Actually… I think I should trust my Gut on this one.

They stand there frozen for several heartbeats.

Klein: Um, guys, I really think we should…

Just then the Which returns, with her hood throw back, and carrying her stick over her shoulder with a vagabond bag tied on the end. Her face seems a decade younger, perhaps due to the jubilant grin on her face.

Which: C’mon, boys. What are you waiting for? We’re off to see the Geni!

To be continued