The Earnest Redeemer: Hey, Res. Good to see you again!
R. [snorting] Yeah, right.
E. Well… anyway, I’m glad you took the initiative to reach out. What’s up?
R. Well, THEY did it again.
E. [nodding] Yes, I noticed. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything to them at the time, but I felt it would be better if we talked first.
R. [grumpy] Well, I suppose.
E. Anyway, I’m here now. What’s on your heart?
R. [exploding] It’s just not fair. First they make a choice without even consulting you — or God! Then they complain that this choice put them in over their head. Which is the concern you would have raised. Which they knew you would, which is the reason they didn’t consult you in the first place.
E. You are absolutely correct. Though, I should acknowledge that they did apologize for that.
R. [grunts] Yeah, that was nice. But it sure feels like they didn’t repent. Because now they want you to make all sorts of changes and sacrifices to help them get what they want, even though it was their faulty choices that created the problem.
Earnest takes a deep breath.
E. I hear you, Res. Everything you say is true. However, I need a moment to process whether there is some nuance and counterpoint that I also need to keep in mind.
R. [menacingly] That sounds an awful like you defending them.
E. That is a totally fair critique. I don’t want you to feel unheard. But I need this for me. Would you mind if I just changed contexts, so you don’t have to listen in or risk getting triggered?
R. I suppose.
E. Thank you!
2. Defender
She looks like a junior lawyer, perhaps resembling the public defender from Night Court. A little perky, but sincere.
Defender. Thank you. I can work with that.
Earnest: Ah, apologies, I didn’t realize you could hear my thoughts.
D. No offense taken. I rather like “perky but sincere. “ [smiling] I’m used to dealing with much, much worse.
E. I appreciate your understanding
D. [grinning] That’s my job. Shall we get started? [pulls a script out of her briefcase]
E. Wait, what is that?
D. [indulgently] Your conversation with the persona you call “Resentment.” That’s why you called me, right?
E. Um, yes, but how did you get that transcript so fast?
She cocks her head at me.
D. Don’t you know? My office is always listening in, taking notes. The same way I know what you are thinking even if you don’t speak.
E. That sounds… creepy
D. [sympathetic] You’re right, when I put it that way it really does. [chews on her pencil]. Ah! Would it help if I told you my department lives under Memory? Whose literal job is precisely to keep track of everything you do, for your sake?
E. Um, yeah, I guess so.
I notice she said “Would it help” rather than assert it was true. Her knowing smile tells me she hears me noticing. But, we have bigger fish to fry, so I let it drop.
E. Okay, So what do you have on Res’s recent plaint against Them?
D. Well, we were the ones who affirmed that his story was roughly correct, but also suggested acknowledging the apology.
E. Wait, that was all you?
D. [bats her eyelashes] Well, we are the part of you that cross-checks stories and highlights inconsistencies– or the lack thereof. Right?
E. Oh, yeah [blushing]
D. Don’t be hard on yourself. Factoring out a new persona can be disorienting to anyone.
E. Ah, thanks. So I presume your team had some notes it wanted to share?
D. [grins] Right.
She pulls out a neat printout and reads.
3. Brief
Res is correct that They got themselves into this trouble without consulting you. In fact, when you asked, They explicitly told you that They knew what They were doing.
On the other hand, you did forgive at least a big part of the error, so you can’t legitimately hold that against Them.
The deeper resentment is that you want Them to “eat humble pie” and own their mistake.
That is a perfectly legitimate desire. However, that is choosing a Law strategy rather than Grace. Making them bear a cross so you don’t have to.
The deeper reality is that the reason They made the mistakes in the first place is the exact same reason (lack of Grace) They can’t bring themselves to confess.
If you aren’t willing to hide behind the Law, then you are obligated to consider Their proposal on its merits, and disregard the history of “whose fault is it.”
Your deeper reality is the reason you are triggered is that you also lack the Grace (spiritual authority) necessary to reframe the situation (for either Them or you)
E. Wow. That’s… pretty good. I think Res might actually find that helpful.
D. [blushing slightly] We live to serve. Shall we ask him and find out?
4. Understanding
We do. Res reads the brief thoughtfully. He glances questioningly at Defender. She nods sympathetically. He sighs and turns back to me.
Earnest: Is everything okay?
Res: Um, yeah. More than okay. I feel… fully heard and understood.
E. But then… why are you so glum?
Res tries to speak, but no sounds come. He jumps up and runs out of the room. I rise to go after him, but Defender lays a gentle hand on my arm.
Defender: It’s okay. He just needs time.
E. Time? For what?
D. [sadly] To grieve.
E. Huh? Grieve what? I thought he felt understood. Validated even!
D. [nodding]. Yes. But that’s the problem. Resentment can’t survive perfect understanding.
D. Perhaps… he need to grieve the death of his old identity under the Law before he can embrace his new one under Grace.
E. Can we help?
D. I… am not sure. But we should try.
She packs up her briefcase. Then after a moment’s hesitation, leaves it behind.
5. Restoration
We find Res huddled in a corner. He is not currently weeping, but his eyes are red.
Earnest. Hey buddy, are you okay?
Res: [sniffling] I guess. Thank you for coming.
Defender: I’m sure this must be very hard on you. Please know we are sad to be the instrument of your demise.
R. It… it is okay. I’m actually happier this way. It is [cough] not easy being angry all the time.
Earnest turns to Defender
E. Isn’t there anything we can do? I know he’s not the nicest Part to deal with, but… well, he’s right about a lot of important things I don’t want to lose.
Defender squeezes my hand.
R. I know. But you have to have faith. And let him go.
I turn back to Res.
E. I… I guess this is goodbye. To lose you just after befriending you feels… unfair.
Res manages a weak laugh.
R. Don’t go taking over my job!
The laugh becomes a hacking cough.
When it subsides, he manages a shaky grin.
R. Maybe… I could only thrive in the darkness. That’s where I was needed. Now that everything is in the light… it is time for me to rest.
He closes his eyes and dies. I throw myself on his cooling body and cry myself to sleep.
6. Awakening
I jerk awake.
I don’t know how long I slept. But I feel refreshed. Revived, even.
I stand up. I look around. The room is empty.
I hear a knock on the door. A figure full of life and light strides in. Confident. Joyous. Almost familiar…
Earnest: Res?
The figure laughs.
Res: Sure, you can still call me that. But I have a new name now: Resilience!
I cry with delight.
E. But… is it the same job?
R. Better! Yes, it is still my job to hold onto the core principles that enable you to thrive amidst opposition. But rather than complaining about others’ wrongs, I am here to remind you of the bigger truths.
E. Wow! So what happened to Defender?
He winks.
R. You slept longer that you think. I married her.
E. What?
R. She’s even more awesome when she’s not working. And her married name is Dialogue.
E. Wow. Congratulations.
R. Thanks. Someday you should come over and see our kids.
“You know what sort of times we live in, and so you should live properly. It is time to wake up. You know that the day when we will be saved is nearer now than when we first put our faith in the Lord. Night is almost over, and day will soon appear. We must stop behaving as people do in the dark and be ready to live in the light.”
Radically Happy 
Leave a comment