Radically Happy

Continued from Sex 405: Polar Opposites

We descend into a land out of fairytales.
Small, colorful houses that look good enough to eat.
The beginning of what appears to be a yellow-brick road.

Even the large scary monster looks kinda cute.

The Earnest Redeemer: Wait, what scary monster?

Sweetums: Hi, I’m Sweetums! I represent the lollipop guild. Welcome to Oz.

I go to shake his hand.
Only to discover I don’t have any.

I seem to have become a geometric abstraction.
A two-dimensional plane, to be precise.
My Reflection is a three-dimensional sphere.

None of this seems to faze Sweetums.

S. So, are you here to see the Genie-Oz?

E. Um, I thought we were here to see the Geni-Us.

Sweetums shrugs his large, floppy, furry shoulders

S. It’s all the same to me. Just follow the yellow-brick road. But watch out for the witch!

E. Which witch?

S. Yes, exactly.

E. But…

Reflection: Let him be, Earnest. I’m sure all will be made clear in time.

Time.
I shudder.
If my psyche is starting to fragment into mathematical spaces, I’m terrified of what might happen if time gets mixed in.

Somehow it feels like Reflection punches me in the shoulder.

R. Take heart! How bad could it be?

E. Funny you should mention that. I bet our first stop will be…

Heartland

I wasn’t expecting a Klein bottle.
Though in retrospect, a four-dimensional shape embedded in 3-D does seem a natural progression.
It even looks a bit like a heart.

Klein: Oh, please. I don’t look anything like a heart.

E. Well, metaphorically…

K. I am not a metaphor for a heart. Hearts channel what’s inside to the outside. My inside is the same as my outside, which is practically the antithesis of a heart.

R. Perhaps he only meant that the perspective he had of you felt like a heart.

K. Bah! His perspective is irrelevant. Feelings are irrelevant. What matters is cold, hard objective facts.

R. [pause] Really?

K. Well…. maybe not. But it is the only thing we can trust.

E. Or possibly… that you can trust?

Klein looks at us with an odd… vulnerability?

R. How about… you join us on our search for the Geni-us?

K. [excitedly] The Genie-Oz?

E. Um… probably? To be honest, I’m not entirely clear whether…

K. That’s awesome! Let me just grab my oil can and we can hit the road [rushes off]

E. [to Reflection] Why would he need oil? He is just made up of mathematical abstractions.

R. [shh] Not so loud. You’ll hurt his feelings.

E. Feelings? He hates feelings!

R. [nodding] Exactly. Besides, not everything here is as it appears. Perhaps nothing is…

E. Huh?

K. I’m ready. We’re off to see the wizard [starts singing off key]

E. The Geni-Us is not technically a…

Reflection uses his missing hand to punch me in my missing arm. I shrug non-existing shoulders, and we join Klein in singing until we reach…

Gut Ranching

I somewhat disappointed to see an ordinary tube, rather than some mystical fifth-dimension construction.

Tube: I am sorry. But it is not your fault. Most people are disappointed in me.

E. Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize you could hear my thoughts.

K. So it would be kinder to think he’s pathetic than to tell him?

E. Well, yes.

T. No, no. Klein is right. It is always better to tell the cold hard truth.

E. How do you know that?

T. Because Klein told me. He is very wise.

E. [suspiciously] How do you know he is wise?

T. Because he told me!

E. Hmm. Reflection, would you mind taking Klein to look at Tube’s bottle collection?

R. Sure! Klein, do you know anything about ordinary 3-d bottles?

K. [scoffing] Do I? Let me tell you…

They wander off. Earnest leans in conspiratorially.

E. Tube, does Klein control you?

T. Well… maybe.

E. Wouldn’t you like to be your own person?

T. Yes! Yes, I would.

E. [beaming] Great! Do you think you could tell him that?

T. Yes! Yes, I can.

E. Um, how do you think Klein will take that?

T. Oh, I’m sure he’ll be happy for me. He’s always telling me to be strong like him.

E. Oookay. [calling] Reflection. Klein? Can you please come back. Tube has something he’d like to say.

T. Earnest has something he wants me to say.

E. [plays dumb] I do?

T. Yes! Tell him!

E. I’m sorry. Tell who what?

T. [exasperated, shouting] Tell Klein that I don’t want him to control me.

Silence

R. [quietly] I think you just did.

Everyone turns to look at Klein.

He’s shaking.
Violently.

T. Is he angry?

E. Is he laughing?

R. No. He… he’s… he’s crying.

K. [sobbing]. It’s true. I… I never wanted to control him. I just want him to stand up for himself. But the more I try, the more passive he becomes. Yet the more he complies, the harder I end up pushing him. I… I can’t help myself…. [breaks down]

Reflection waits until Klein cries himself out. He is about to speak when Tube walks over.

T. Klein. It’s okay. You did the best for me that you knew how. Thank you. Don’t worry. We’re not alone anymore. Our new friends will take us to see the Geni-Oz. He will fix everything! Right?

E. Um….

R. Don’t worry. Everything will turn out well. It always does. [punches Earnest in the arm]

E. Oy vey!

To be continued