How can we grow all of us closer to Jesus?
Lately I’ve been wrestling with a series of questions around:
- parenting
- evangelism
- discipleship
- inner healing.
This morning — having watched the Indian Forrest Gump last night — I wonder if the acronym RUPA might address all of them:
- Relationships that build Trust
- Understanding that creates Awareness
- Prayer that binds Strongmen
- Authority to release Freedom
Here’s a first draft of how that might work. What do you think?
1. R: Trustworthy Relationships
I like to say there is no silver bullet for spiritual growth — only a golden sword. That is, scalable resources like books, sermons, and programs can help us go “broad”, but rarely penetrate deep enough to cause lasting change.
“If we want others — or even ourselves! — to have transformational encounters with Jesus, we need to move beyond superficial behaviors and intellectual ideas.”
If we want others — or even ourselves! — to have transformational encounters with Jesus, we need to move beyond superficial behaviors and intellectual ideas. In my experience, this requires me to make the first move in becoming appropriately vulnerable, to demonstrate to others that this is a safe space to be fully emotionally present.
Surprisingly, this doesn’t always correlate with long-term friendships. I am blessed with several close friends with whom I freely discuss difficult topics. Yet somehow the “leap of faith” required to create each new level of trust is not much different than for near strangers (in the right context).
2. U: Self-Aware Understanding
I hate to admit it, but I am really good at coming up with brilliant solutions to the wrong problem. Worse, I often end up blaming the people involved for failing to have the problem I thought they did!
“The cheapest form of courage is simply being convinced you are right.”
I think the reason is that it takes great courage to intervene in other people’s lives. And the cheapest form of courage is simply being convinced you are right. Whether that conviction is based to tradition, ideology, or (my favorite) personal arrogance.
For whatever reason, it is excruciatingly painful for me to stay curious while engaging with a difficult relational situation. There is a constant temptation to hide behind safe half-truths and self-protective words, instead of deeply understanding the other person’s point of view.
Yet I have become convinced that the only way people will receive my truth is if they trust I have received theirs. In fact, it is only after I recognize my own self-deception and lies that I can accurately see which truth they need in order to be set free.
3. P: Binding Prayer
Oddly enough, once I know that truth, it rarely helps to speak it. In my experience, there are very powerful reasons people cling to incredibly devastating lies. These essential fictions help us wall away excruciating pain so we can continue to function, and it is both cruel and counter-productive to try ripping away that fig leaf without something to replace it.
This — and perhaps only this! — is when and how we need to pray.
“I have caused (and received) untold damage to my spiritual life by fervently praying for the wrong things with the wrong understanding.”
I am deadly serious. I have caused (and received) untold damage to my spiritual life by fervently praying for the wrong things with the wrong understanding. I became frustrated and angry with God, myself, and other people when I didn’t get the results I expected. Because I was convinced I was doing the “the right thing” by “bringing the desires of my heart before God.”
And perhaps I was. But in the wrong way.
To be clear, I agree there is a time and place for childlike prayer. And generally it is better to pray than not to pray! But there is a class of hard relational problems where, at least in my religious subculture, prayer can become a drug that keeps us from confronting the real problem.
Yet paradoxically, prayer is also the only hope for those situations. These are deep spiritual, psychological, and usually generational wounds that mere words can never heal. We need to pray for God to open eyes, ears, mouths and hearts — and create the right circumstances — if we are to see a breakthrough.
4. A: Spiritual Authority
Yet even when I say the right prayers with the right understanding in the right relationship, it usually is not enough. I now consider this a sign that I don’t yet have the right authority.
Sometimes it is simply a matter of time and intensity. I just need to pound the arrows through fasting and praying until I see the victory.
But more often than not, it is because there is still a stronghold in my own life where Satan has authority over me. And when I try to yank his chain, he yanks mine. With often devastating (though occasionally hilariously embarrassing) consequences.
“There is still a stronghold in my own life where Satan has authority over me. And when I try to yank his chain, he yanks mine.”
This is why I have learned to move slowly and deliberately when claiming territory for the kingdom of God. I don’t want to outrun my air cover, or bypass hidden snipers that can then shoot me in the back.
To be honest, this is the area I most need to improve upon. I think I need a community of intercessors to help me see my blind spots, and help me bear the burden of being both efficient and comprehensive. So I can avoid both failure modes:
- cowardly holding back out of fear
- foolishly running ahead out of arrogance
This is far from the final answer. But I think I am at least getting better at grappling with the right questions. At any rate, this is where I will start. Care to join me?
Love,
Ernest Prabhakar
May 14, 2023
Radically Happy 
Leave a comment