As followers of Jesus, we invite you to learn along with us every Tuesday at 1 PM on The Great Reset as we practice loving more like Jesus.
Question: What should we focus on when something hurtful has happened?
Perspective: Answering the question, “What do each of us need so all of us can handle it better next time?”
After The Incident in S5E1, I spent a lot of time focusing on my response to Steve, and reassuring myself we were on track to eventually work things out. However, I must confess I did not spend much time considering other people’s responses, or what it would take to reassure them. I naively assumed they saw the same data I did, and would therefore interpret it the same way.
I appreciate David J. raising the issue last week, and for agreeing to host the discussion about it. God alone knows how it will actually play out, though, so I wanted to document the lessons I’ve learned so far:
- Whenever something unusual happens, recognize that it may affect others more deeply than it affects me
- When others express concern, acknowledge the validity of their fears rather than trying to explain them away (See also: marriage)
- After an incident, create a safe space for people to express difficult feelings and ask hard questions. Even if not everyone can be there, so we aren’t actually able to resolve anything.
- As part of our regular practice, include time for people to share concerns and feedback, and raise issues they feel should be addressed
- If I don’t feel competent to address such issues, empower those who are willing to bear that risk